March 1, 2017
Even though most days I’m done-done with Tenderheart and her attitude, it’s still just me and her eating dinner and watching our shows. She’s gone a lot but she’s always home for dinner and a show. However on March 1st, she’s leaving for Florida until March 6th. She’s going to a national POMs competition at ESPN Sports and hanging out for five days at Disneyworld. I’ve never even been to Florida but I make a lot of sacrifices so she can go. Last year was her first year and she had so much fun and apparently wore a fanny pack.
I actually feel a lot better about her going this year. Last year I was a wreck because it was her first time away by herself where she had to take care of herself, by herself. Like she’s in a room with three other girls and she has to do her own make up and competition hair and make sure she has all her stuff together. She has to make sure she doesn’t lose her credit card or her money. She also has to budget her money and buy her own meals. She splits her meals with another girl because it’s really expensive to eat there and she doesn’t eat a full meal. But it was a huge responsibility and she was so nervous. But she did it and she was fine, until she was getting ready to compete one of their dances and she’d forgotten her jazz shoe. Two girls who hadn’t made the dance had to take the shuttle back to the hotel to get her shoe because no one wears her size. She was so upset and she was crying and didn’t know what to do. But the important thing is she figured it out and everything was fine. And as much as she missed me, I think she came back with an appreciation for me and maybe a better attitude. And I’m sure that lasted a week or so.
However, this will be the first year she’ll be going and I’ll be alone. Like alone-alone. Last year Moonshine was still living here and she took care of the animals and ate dinner with me. This year, it’s all me. I have to take care of all the animals and entertain myself. And I’m equal parts thrilled and scared. What if I don’t leave the house? What if I only have ramen and grilled cheese for six days? What if I find I don’t really have any friends? And I know this is sort of a test for a year and a half from now when Tenderheart goes to college and I’m all alone. I also know I have to push myself to do things, it doesn’t come naturally. I’m determined to go into the office and make plans and not be a hermit because that’s what comes naturally to me. I might even take the train downtown to panhandle on the 16th street mall. Who knows, it may be a whole new world for me!
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