February 15, 2017

I’m live blogging at the dentist with Tenderheart. She thought she was getting one cavity filled and she’s getting four. She should be happy I got her in after Valentine’s Day, but I have a feeling she’s going to be pissed that it’s four. They’re giving her laughing gas and I hear them talking to someone like a toddler, I’m pretty sure it’s her.  Silver lining, she doesn’t have to come back.  Rain cloud, I’m going to be here forever. FOREVER!!

So yesterday was Valentine’s Day and here was my valentine. 


Here was Tenderheart’s. 


This woman is trying to find something to watch on the tv but the message clearly says “service interrupted”. I’m familiar with the message, you need to call and restore your service, girl. Omg, now she’s found some deep cable political channel. She needs to keep going. This has gone on longer than it needed. 

She finally told someone to call the number on the screen and the worker said, oh it’s turned off. Like she watched her stand there trying to find a channel for over 20 minutes and then decided to tell her their service was interrupted. Now she went out for a smoke. I might need one too. 

When Tenderheart was little I took her to the dentist for a cleaning and I went back with her because she was little, probably six. She grabbed my hand and the hygienist said, Don’t baby her. So I let go of her hand and scooted back. That was just a blip of how I’ve babied her. He should have been following me around her whole life pointing out times I’m babying her. Where’s that guy, who’s obviously a life coach by now. 

The girl who went out to smoke just came back in and literally Febreezed herself. I’m always shocked at people who still smoke but I’m sure people are shocked I still eat donuts. We’re all going to die. Speaking of which, there’s a donut place right across the parking lot. My morning is writing itself. 

Wait, now I hear the dentist talking to Directv. Who’s drilling Tenderheart??  I’m never getting out of here. Should I tell him I don’t need the TV? Now he’s yelling because their payment was returned. He literally just said, There’s no way it was returned, we have over $15,000 in that account. That doesn’t seem like a lot for a dentist but I am next door to a hydroponics shop and across the parking lot from the donut shop and a pot shop so maybe I need to rethink the quality of my dentist. And can I just point out how brilliant it is to have a donut shop next door to a pot shop? Location, location, location. Because this place is right down the street from my house so again, location. 

And I just got an email there’s bagels and donuts in the office today. Because of course they wouldn’t have that yesterday when I was actually in there. I hate missing free food. That’s how poor I am. 

I came in and they told me this would be $110. So I’m thinking okay, one cavity, $110, that’s horrible. Then they told me she had four and I said, nope, just take those teeth out because there’s no way I can afford $440 for four cavities. Sorry, Tenderheart, you’re going to have to start gumming your meat. Luckily, for her, they had included all four in that $110. And also luckily, for her, the nitrous was included because momma ain’t springing for anything fancy here. 

And finally the dentist is off the phone so hopefully the TV will be back on shortly. That’s how it usually works when mine’s turned off. Oh, I hear the drilling again so maybe they were just giving her a break while he was trying to figure out the TV situation. Seems below his pay grade but probably not around here. 

He just came out to take a break, I assume between cavities. I’m going to be here so long I’m probably going to be blogging from here tomorrow too. 

They’ve had her back there for over an hour. I’ll bet this feels like Tenderheart’s rock bottom. 

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