Get out the abacus!

I’ve pretty much laughed all day about my use of the word “abacus” yesterday.  Just know that I didn’t need an abacus but what a visual that was.  This is why I sometimes wish my blog was more interactive, except I don’t like to talk about it, just ask my sister.

What do you do when you’re friends with someone whose kids are best friends with your kids but then they’re not anymore?  Does your friendship eventually dwindle?  And what happens when those kids turn out to be crappy people and your kids just doesn’t want to be friends with them anymore?

Sunshine had a friend whose mom was my best friend and they were best friends since kindergarten.  Well, she was always mean to Sunshine I think because she knew she could be and Sunshine would still be her friend.  And the friend was really insecure so she would pick out Sunshine’s faults I think to make herself feel better.  This went on until like middle school when thankfully the friend moved but it had gotten really bad.  And she was fine when it was her and Sunshine one on one, but when the friend had an audience, that’s when she would really pick on her.  And my friendship with the mom was completely over after they moved and her daughter and Sunshine were no longer friends.

Moonshine, who’s never really been able to be friends with girls, met a friend when she moved to college and they ate dinner almost every night and studied together and last weekend her friend wanted to bring her 17 year old boyfriend to a party and the people throwing the party told her no.  She thought Moonshine shouldn’t go to the party either and now she’s not speaking to her.  What is wrong with people?  It’s not Moonshine’s fault they didn’t want her senior-in-high-school boyfriend at the party.  And what was Moonshine going to do, third wheel it with you two all night?  All her friends were at the party.  Like I get standing up for your friends, but it’s not her fault you’re dating a toddler.

Tenderheart has a friend who she’s been friends with forever who recently told her, If I met you now, we wouldn’t be friends.  Ummm, ouch.  She also said she ignores her so she can get to the not being friends stage quicker.  Listen, you don’t have to be mean about it, if you don’t want to be friends anymore you don’t have to be friends, you’re not a hostage.

And I get that friends are put in your life for a reason, a season, or life, but there are a couple of people I thought I would be friends forever with…actually, there’s no one. Wait, my cousin Cindi and I will be friends forever.  I can’t imagine not talking to her.  My friends Gloria and Anna.  We can go forever and not talk and then get together and it’s like we haven’t missed a beat.  But friends I went to high school with, none.  I mean, don’t get offended, Oh! Canada, you know what I mean.  Thanks to the powers of the internet and Facebook, there are people from high school that I’m “friends” with, but it’s not like we hang out.  I wouldn’t call them if my car broke down like I do Heather holla!

So I tell my girls that friends come and go and for the two bitches who ghosted Sunshine her sophomore year of college, I wish no ill will on you, except I do because I welcomed you into my home when you had no family and you turned out to be bitches.

Anyway, I tell them friends will come and go and maybe Moonshine’s friend was in her life for a reason, to get her acclimated to college in another state and now her usefulness is over, but it’s still hard to lose a friend.  The one I don’t know how to comfort is Tenderheart who thought she had a lifelong friend like my Anna or Gloria, a friend who would always be there for her, and it turns out she doesn’t.  What’s between a season and for life?

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