Dealing with Tenderheart
I think I’m going to rename my blog “Dealing with Tenderheart”. Those are the only stories I have since Moonshine moved to college in Oklahoma and Sunshine is finishing her senior year in Colorado Springs. Tenderheart is who I deal with daily and it hasn’t been that fun lately. We rarely fight but she’s at the end of the quarter of the first half of her junior year, she’s on the POMs team and they just competed at State, and she’s just been generally stressed. The problem is she’s a procrastinator, and she has to work at school, but she can be lazy. And it’s infuriating. So this last week of the quarter has been extremely stressful and she’s had to retake like five tests just in Biology so she can get her grade up. Well, my opinion is that she needed to get a good grade on those tests the first time and then she wouldn’t have to make any of them up, but who wants to hear that from me? Certainly not Tenderheart.
She had two performances this week and a Christmas party, but Sunday night we got into a blow out because she was procrastinating and not doing her work and then she was rude to me. First, I’ve been nothing but encouraging to her; and second, I haven’t made her do anything around the house in about four weeks because she’s been so stressed and busy. I went to bed mad and she sent me a text message that said, “Just so you know, you don’t listen to me and you’re close minded. You aren’t very supportive right now and very negative, you just push and push”….blah blah blah, teen angst and she ended with, “I’m going to bed and I’ll see you tomorrow after school maybe if I don’t go somewhere else to do homework.” Oh.My.Gosh. the unmitigated gall of her saying she might come home. Yeah, that doesn’t work around here. That car is in my name and it’s a privilege she gets to use it.
So I took a couple of deep breaths and sent back, “I’m really sorry you feel that way. I thought my encouraging and doing all the housework and your laundry has been supporting you. I’ve heard for two quarters now how you’re not going to wait until the last minute to do things and now you have four days of the quarter left and at least three tests you have to retake and a poem you have to memorize by Wednesday. So actually you’ll come home immediately after school and not perform in the afterschool program.”
She sent back, “Great”. And guess what? She came straight home and didn’t perform Monday afternoon like she was supposed to, and she had to tell all her friends she was sorry but she was grounded. But really, how dare you.
Me: 1, Tenderheart:0. At least for this week.
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