I found “my” people
Sort of continued from yesterday:
When they dragged me away from Moonshine so she could register on her own…alone, I walked outside to get some hot, humid air and then went to get Tenderheart because we were driving back to Colorado right after her appointment.
There was another mom walking out at the same time, and my kids would say I’m too friendly. I also have a lot of trouble gauging whether the other person is going to be friendly or not. It’s really a crap shoot. I’ve tried to strike up conversation and gotten a cold shoulder and I’ve tried again and it’s worked well. Tenderheart once said, I really love that you just keep trying. It was pity, really, because I think I had tried to talk to our cashier and she was not friendly at all.
So this mom was walking out ahead of me and she held the door and I thanked her and I could tell we were both going to be walking to the same parking lot so I went for it and I said, I guess they don’t need us for that and she laughed and said, I guess not. Yes!! This was going to be good. She asked if I was from Oklahoma and I said I was, but had moved to Colorado when I was 19 and my mom still lived there. She said they lived five minutes away but her daughter was going to live on campus for the experience. She was very nice and made sure to tell me that her family isn’t a bunch of fanatics, wearing the college gear all over the place like everyone else in Oklahoma. At that moment, I was glad I hadn’t bought my OU Mom t-shirt yet.
Then she said she was glad her daughter was moving because the second she graduated, she started driving her crazy. They started butting heads the minute she had graduated high school. And I was so excited I was walking and talking with a fellow oversharer! My kids would have been mortified. I said, Yes, I’m excited for Moonshine to go too! I remember the summer before college with Sunshine and it was really hard. She was lashing out and not understanding why and it’s all anxiety of leaving. Moonshine hasn’t been as bad, but we’ve always sort of butted heads so it’s not anything new with our relationship.
My friend Heather Holla! once said she thinks that angst right before they leave for college is to make it easier for them to go. That if we didn’t have that butting of heads, if you will, then they’d stay home forever. This is one of the reasons I made Sunshine move to the smallest room in the house after she graduated, I didn’t want her to be too comfortable. Because ultimately what it is is you have an adult now and she thinks she can do what she wants and make all her own decisions. And she can when it comes to registering for classes but you’re still sort of jockeying for position on all the other stuff. It’s hard giving over the reigns to an adult who you know might not be ready to make all those decisions. This part of parenting is really hard.
So I told that mom, my fellow oversharer that theory and she said, You know, I’d rather cry for two days when she leaves than hate her all summer. OMG, she was my people. Moonshine, I found MY PEOPLE!!