Fake it ‘Til You Make It

Moonshine left for orientation at college.  It’s a three-day camp and I’m so nervous for her.  Tenderheart and I dropped her off at the airport and it took about one second after the first picture was taken for Tenderheart to burst out crying.

And I choked up too.  I’m so scared for her.  Don’t tell her I said this but Moonshine isn’t a joiner.  She has trouble making and keeping friends.  I once dropped her off for a Girls Night at church and she didn’t speak to another living soul.  She and Sunshine weren’t in the same youth group and I think Moonshine was in seventh grade, but I thought she would go and meet girls her age and have fun.  We’d been at that church for like six years at this point.  I dropped her off and she was nervous, but if I let them stay home every time they’re nervous they’ll never leave the house.  So I “made” her go.  She wanted to go or maybe I didn’t even ask.  Anyway, I went to pick her up and asked all the usual questions, How was it? Who did you hang out with? Did you have fun? And she said she didn’t talk to anyone.  And I said, Huh? And she said, Yeah.  And I said, No one?  And she said, Nope.  She said she had a great time and ate food and made jewelry, but didn’t speak to anyone else.

So you can understand the last few days, I’ve been talking her up and telling her how fun it’s going to be.  We found her a cute ’80s outfit for the dance (she wanted it to look like she’d tried but not tried too hard, she didn’t want to stand out or not fit in) and I made sure she had a cute swimsuit and everything else she needed for the trip.  I told her to be a joiner and act like she likes people.  I’m not saying we’re not friendly, but I have had more than one person tell me they thought I was a bitch until they got to know me.  Not a compliment, FYI for anyone who is thinking it, you can keep that gem to yourself.  The four of us are kind of a unit, we have our inside jokes, we might appear to be standoffish at parties, and we’re definitely snarky and sarcastic but just know every single one of us has an amazing heart and would do anything for you.

And then she made a friend on the plane.  Yay!  She was a 27 year old who was from Colorado and her and her husband are now stationed in Oklahoma.  I’m sure Moonshine talked her ear off, but this woman actually found grandma and grandpa at the baggage claim to tell them what a wonderful granddaughter they had.  And I’m sure my nerves are all for nothing and the fact that my sister looked up this orientation camp and said it sounded like a cult isn’t going to bother me at all.  They’re celebrating their 20th year so I’m sure it’s all on the up and up, but I wasn’t a joiner, I didn’t do stuff like this.  I’m just so proud that Moonshine really is.

And on the way home from the airport Tenderheart started crying again and said, You’re raised with your two best friends and then one day they just leave. They’ll forget about us and move on with their lives. Sunshine made cookies tonight and put them on her Snapchat and Tenderheart started crying again about what an adult she is. I told her there’s no way anyone is going to grow up and forget about us. We’re a unit and our house is going to change but our family will always be together no matter how far apart we are. 

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