I’m Coming For You

In my overzealousness for blogging every day in June, I just realized I didn’t post anything on the 1st.  Great.  Brilliant.  I literally missed the first day in the month where I was trying to post every day.  Do you understand what I’m saying?  I really couldn’t have salvaged this month because I missed THE. FIRST. DAY!  I failed before even starting!!  I should just chuck it all.

At trivia the other night, I met a guy maybe my age, I have no gauge, who said he had kids aged 5 and 11.  And I think I said, Ewwww, that’s really young!  OMG, I think I said ewwww!  Like I’m two years from freedom, which is actually an abyss that’s freaking me out a little, and he’s got a freaking five year old.  Yikes!

And then I thought about Beaux, Moonshine’s beau and his mom is still having kids.  She has seven kids, he’s the third and she’s still having kids at 39.  Yowzers!  I can’t imagine being 45 with a six year old.  I mean, God bless you, but I’m so tired.  Why isn’t she tired?  Is she tired?  I would have definitely had one more.  Having three has been a pain in the odd-numbered ass and would have been worse, I’m sure, if I wasn’t here to offset one of them, so if money and a marriage would have permitted it, I would have had one more, but 7, 15, 19, when’s good?

And don’t get me wrong, I love a big family.  My great-grandma had like 17 or some crazy number, and I love the family reunions and when people stay in the same area and have a ton of relatives they’re close to, but can you imagine raising that many kids?

After trivia on the way to the car, another guy said, what are you going to do when it’s just you and Tenderheart?  And I thought, crap, I don’t know, I guess I’m going to have to get a life of my own.  So in two months after I don’t die of heat stroke in Oklahoma, I’m working on Operation Get-A-Life!

Look out friends who have said, we should get together but don’t really mean it, because I’m coming for you first.




  1. We’re ready for you in NYC!

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