My band name could be Puddle of Sweat
I went to trivia the other night. You know, it’s in a bar and they have a group come in and give trivia questions to a bunch of teams and the top three winners get gift cards. I’ve always said, If it’s not worth anything, I probably know it. My dad and I were the best at useless knowledge. I have a ton of it. I know, for instance, that Norman Bates’ mother was buried in a periwinkle blue dress. How do I know that? Because I’ll never be able to forget it after watching the movie with my cousin Cindi. Could that small piece of useless knowledge make me any money? Nope, and it hasn’t, but it’s in there.
My sister once said, If you got rid of all that crap, you’d probably be pretty smart. Okay, that wasn’t a direct quote, but it was close. It was probably more like, imagine the knowledge you could hold on to if you forgot everything from our childhood. That’s another thing I have, I’m the family historian. I had dinner with my cousin Cari the other night and said, Remember, blah, blah, blah, and she said, Nope. And no one ever does remember it, but I do and it’s in there and doesn’t go away.
I have noticed with age, some things that have been at the ready to be spewed out at a moment’s notice, I’ve had a little trouble calling up. Sometimes I have to really think about something, not like Norman’s mom’s dress, but things from my childhood. Isn’t it interesting to think, your childhood is really only the first 18-20 years and then you’re on your own? I’ve been on my own for over half my life and I’ve managed to make a pretty big mess of it. It’s scary to think Sunshine is 20 and going to be a senior in college and then deciding where she’s going next. But when I was 19, I had already moved to another state, was living on my own, and felt a lot more mature than I feel like my kids are.
I would be absolutely terrified if Sunshine came and told me she was quitting college and moving to another state and, See ya! Luckily, that’s not happening. And Moonshine is leaving the state but going to college. And did kids just mature quicker when I was growing up or does Moonshine think she could go off and live on her own and support herself like I thought? What the hell was I thinking? Why was I in such a hurry to get out of there? Was it the hot Oklahoma summers?
You know, I’ve managed not to go to Oklahoma in the summer for the past probably 10 years. I can’t imagine I used to play softball as a kid in that heat and humidity. So I’ve sworn off June, July, and August, only to have Moonshine decide she’s going to college in Oklahoma and her registration appointment is July 6th, and she moves in August 10th. Well, what happened to my self-imposed exile from Oklahoma in the summer? She doesn’t really care. And to be honest, I don’t really care either because of course I’m going to be there. I’m going to be sweating, but I’m going to be there.
And I’m going to tell you a secret. On August 10th, which is her move in day, in the afternoon, my current plan is to take up exactly one box and then start unpacking. That’s my job, I’m the unpacker. So as the others bring boxes up, I’m unpacking. I’ll make the bed, I’ll clean the floor, I’ll get her organized, but I’ll be damned if she thinks I’m carrying all her shit up five flights of stairs in Oklahoma’s August heat. There are reasons I live in Colorado and one of them is the gorgeous weather. And another thing, OU better have their AC blasting in the dorms because she moves up a week early and I’m going to be a puddle of sweat if they don’t.