Turns out I’m just a regular mom, not a cool mom

One of the new driver rules in this state is you can’t drive with any non-related people for six months and then it’s only one non-relative for the next six months.  You basically have to drive by yourself or with a family member for six months.  I get it, I understand why it’s a rule, but I haven’t always followed it.  I actually don’t like it when Tenderheart drives alone, I prefer she has a friend with her because I think she pays more attention and I feel like she’s safer.  I like when someone is there to help her with the directions of where they’re going, choose the music, and to help keep her focused.  Now, mind you, if she drives anyone anywhere, which is rare, it’s within a three mile radius in our neighborhood, i.e. Dairy Queen, the school, poms practice, the library, a friend’s house in the neighborhood.

When Sunshine started driving, she drove with her best friend, Clam, to school, home from school, to choir events, etc., all with her parent’s knowledge.  When Moonshine started driving, she took her best friends to lunch, all within a less than three mile radius. And don’t feel like you need to share all the stats of how far away from home most accidents happen.  I know.  Save your cards and letters.

One day this week, Tenderheart asked if she could bring her friend Pizza home from poms practice and take her back to the school for movie night.  They have poms camp this week and it’s at the school, in the neighborhood.  I said it was fine, but when Pizza got here and her mom called her, she told her she was at Tenderheart’s house and when she asked how she got here, she said that I had brought them.  *yikes face*  She then said, She did, mom, do you want to talk to her? And she looked at me with her little pleading face.  I shook my head no, and said I would not lie to her mother.  Because I didn’t go get her, Tenderheart drove her here, which I was completely fine with, and I thought her mother knew.

So there she was, standing with the phone in her hand and she had to tell her mother.  And now she’s grounded. But then I actually had to take them back up to the school for movie night because she said there was no way her mom was going to believe that I took her and Tenderheart drove herself.  It was a price I had to pay, but really, I’m not under any circumstances lying to your parent for you.  Tenderheart tells me what’s going on and where she is and how she’s getting there and I’m not lying for her.  I told Pizza I was sorry she got in trouble, but there was no way I could do that, and she said it was fine, it was her fault and I told Tenderheart I hope she didn’t lose a friend over it.

And I get it, I’ve heard about it from my mother, I know the rules, I even know why they have them.  When Tendeheart’s ex broke up with her the first time last December, it was because she refused to get in the car with him the day after he got his license.  She had been given a stern talking-to by his parents that she wasn’t allowed in his car for six months and they fought for three days at lunch because he wanted to go to lunch but she wouldn’t get in his car.  He broke up with her during a passing period and took a group of friends to lunch the same day and then every day after.

In fact, I went to pick her up at lunch because she couldn’t stop crying and I passed him and his friends on the way out of the parking lot. And then four days later when he wanted to get back together, he got mad because I wouldn’t let him pick her up for school because we’d just had a really bad snowstorm.  Do you know how many times I wanted to casually mention to his parents that he drives people around….and that he’s really mean?  Because I know they don’t know, even now about either of those things.  And when they got back together, one of her conditions was that he be nicer to her (he wasn’t), and his condition was that she drive in his car with him and not tell his parents (unfortunately, she did).

And I’m an open book, I’m transparent, but no matter how much I love my kids’ friends, which I really do, I’m not going to lie for them, no matter how cool they think I am.

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