No Randos Allowed at my Funeral

I had to unfriend someone yesterday.  It’s not something I do very often.  Occasionally I’ll block someone from my timeline if they look too happy with someone else (just one person actually), or I’m just not digging their vibe, and I’ve almost blocked someone because of something one of their friends said because I can’t imagine I would be friends with someone who’s friends with someone like that.  However, this person was spewing lies with such hate and venom that I just couldn’t imagine I’d be friends with this person in real life or any scenario, really.  And I’m not even political!!!

Today Sunshine sent me a link that made me laugh:


i’m afraid to die because i know there’s gonna be randos i barely knew from high school on my facebook wall like “u were the best locker neighbor in 2009 RIP” and i can’t deal with that kind of fakeness from beyond the grave

And I think we could all be a little less fake.  I could have stayed friends with that person and looked past the hateful crap they were posting, but why?  What am I gaining?  A number on my friends list?  Who cares?  I couldn’t care less if I only had like 10 actual friends on Facebook. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love to see what everyone’s doing and keeping up with pictures without actually having to have a conversation, but I don’t care if that number is high, I’d rather have people I really care about.

Tenderheart is going through something at school and I keep telling her, Stand up for yourself, you’re not a hostage.  She acts like she’s stuck, like she’s a victim, but she’s not.  She’s 15 and has the perfect opportunity to change the things she doesn’t like, but she doesn’t.  I’m afraid I haven’t raised children with a lot of self-worth and it breaks my heart.  I don’t know how to fix it.  They are worth so much more than what they are settling for, but they can’t see it yet.  And it makes me really sad because girls get most of their self-worth from their dad, but I chose so poorly that they didn’t get any of that from him.  Oh, they did get a lot of trust issues so future boyfriends can thank him for that.

Back to my story, Tenderheart is from the generation where she’s getting some of her self-worth from social media.  I wish she could take a break from that for a week, a month, forever, but when I ask her to get off for a night, she spends the next day going through what she might have missed. And I can 100% guarantee it was nothing important.  No one is doing anything important on social media, they’re doing it IRL and not talking about it or they’re watching someone else do it.  Don’t you want to be a doer and not a watcher?

But I’m not a doer.  OMG, I need to be a doer.  I’m exhausted though.  And Tenderheart is dramatic.  She likes to say “passionate”, but she’s so dramatic.  She’ll be at a party or event and text me she’s having the worst time ever and can I come get her.  I never do and then she ends up having a great time.  So she’s the girl who cried wolf, right?  I don’t actually know where she is on the crisis scale.

Remember the terror alert system after 9/11 that was a way to  freak us out and try and remember what color meant what? 

Because everything is so critical, I don’t ever know if it’s green, which is good; or if we’re at red, which is severe and I need to get her right now.

Case in point, she’s already having a bad day and then after lunch she texted me, “This day just keeps getting worse.”  And I asked what was wrong…..three.times…..because she wouldn’t answer me.  Then she texted back, “I had crap all over my butt”.  I said, Literal crap? or you sat in something at lunch?    Turns out it was just something she sat in at lunch and she didn’t literally have crap all over her butt.  And dude, I’m not a monster, I would have gone to get her if that was the case, but then I’d have some follow up questions.  Whose crap?  Where was there crap? Why crap?  But crisis averted for another day, or actually another few minutes.





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