Sketchy isn’t always bad

I got a text the other day from my best friend, WordPress, and it said, Hey girl, your blog is blowing up today!! And I got super excited. Finally, people are going to realize how funny and amazing I am. When I went to check my stats, which I never do, it was basically one person reading every blog I’d ever written. Okay, so a creeper. Don’t worry, I ain’t mad atcha, I hope you found some good ones. Just remember, I’m not the same person I was seven years ago. 

And really, why put things out there if you don’t want people to read it? Just maybe don’t discuss with my children.  My sister asked me once who I was blogging for and it’s only for me.  Sometimes I feel like I have to get something out of my head before I explode. My head gets cloudy and I can’t think straight. You might have an actual friend to talk to but I think I’m boring and who wants to hear all this shit. 

Moonshine is a senior. Have I told you that five times yet?   

And it’s the time of your senior year when it gets a little hard. It’s harder and harder to go to school. Several people have either already dropped out or don’t have enough credits to graduate but continue to go. I wonder what they think. Like how they think their life is going to turn out. Or if they do think. 

I think a lot about this generation. My kids are scared. They’re scared of everything. And maybe they have to be, but currently I’m sitting in a sketchy park downtown by the river waiting for Tenderheart and I’m not worried about anything except my battery dying or if this bench is covered in goose poop. 

 But if any of my kids knew I was here they’d be freaking out. Even more so when I tell you I want to go check out a graffiti’d tunnel to see where it goes. And I must be by some freight train station because I keep seeing my train I’m going to hop when I go hobo on a train.  

 I tell my girls not to be afraid but to be aware. Aware of your surroundings. Aware of your own behaviors because that’s all you can control. And I’m not saying it isn’t a scary time because it most certainly is. And if I thought about it too long I’d never let them leave the house. But what kind of life is that?

There was a shooting at a Planned Parenthood by Sunshine’s college and she knew the officer shot. You can’t control that, and if I believed that everyone was evil, I’d get her home and never let her go back to college but that doesn’t solve anything. 

At this park I’ve seen people biking, jogging, homeless people, who I’d like to ask why they’re homeless in Denver and not San Diego, and I’m sitting on a concrete bench listening to the sounds of the river and the train. It’s so beautiful and soothing and the sun is shining and the trees are old and my kids might miss out on something like this because they’re scared. That’s the real tragedy. 

Now I’m going to go explore that tunnel before my battery dies.  

 Don’t worry, I’m fine. The thing that almost killed me was my footing on those rocks. 

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2 Comments

  1. That’s a rather enjoyable attitude, from my perspective, if one tries to explore the world around. 🙂

    Just stumbled over here through the WP recommendations. And I must say, you seem to have a knack with words and fluency. At least, it’s an easy enough to follow style, like a good friend roaming the streets with you. Enjoyed this post. 🙂

    Greetings from Germany,
    Salva

  2. carikelley

    A German fan!? You are too cool for me now!! Salva is right, I feel like a good friend roaming the streets (or that park!) with you. LOVE spots like that river side–I could sit for days there!!

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