Swooping in to say hey

It’s almost my seven year blogoversary.  What?  I’ve been doing this for seven years and I don’t have a book deal yet??  Just kidding, I’m terrible at promoting myself or being interesting.

I have over 500 posts total, but I had to read back over my like 10 blogs this year to see if I told this story and I don’t think I did.

Moonshine was flirting with three guys after prom but before summer. Isn’t it a double standard that guys can talk up a bunch of girls but people look at a girl differently when she’s doing it? Anyway, we were in the car with an acquaintance of Tenderheart’s and Tenderheart asked Moonshine, “Did you pick one? Who are we dating?” And Tenderheart’s friend said, “We?”  And Tenderheart said, “Yeah, if you date one of us, you date all of us”, and her friend said, “Does Marky Mark know that?” And Tenderheart said with a big smile, “He sure does. ”

And it’s true.  Marky Mark went dress shopping with us yesterday.  Tenderheart wanted to get something to wear for their anniversary dinner this week and then we were going to get frozen yogurt and see a movie.  I asked him if he hates it that Tenderheart tells me everything and he said no but that they’re completely opposite because he doesn’t tell his mom anything.  And I didn’t tell my mom anything when I started dating.  And it was lonely.  There were things I really wished I could tell someone but I’d either have to call a friend on the corded house phone and hope no one heard me or most likely I’d have to keep it to myself.  Tenderheart came home one night and told me her entire night, which was eventful, and at the end, she looked at me and sighed a huge sigh of relief then said, “I’m so glad I can talk to you.  If I couldn’t, I’d just be in my room freaking out.”

Sunshine was home a couple of weeks ago and she said she kind of feels bad for her dad.  She said we’ve always been a little unit and he’s just over there on the outside, even when he lived with us. She understands it’s a self-imposed exile but she feels bad for what he misses out on.  He doesn’t feel bad, unless someone is watching and then it’s Oh poor me. 

I call him the swooper, and he showed up at Tenderheart’s school last Friday unannounced.  

A little background for someone who hasn’t been reading my blog for the last seven years.  Their dad left for the last time when Tenderheart was six. She was his last chance at a relationship because she went over every other weekend longer than anyone else.  She’s the most tenderhearted of the bunch, hence her name, and he worked on her the hardest to keep her coming over, buying her gifts, spending time with her, guilting her when she didn’t want to come over because she had plans, until she’d had enough of the other stuff that was going on and she stopped going over.  This was a over a year ago. She doesn’t text him but he has her on a group text with Sunshine. Moonshine told him to take her off his list.

This brings us more or less to last Friday.  He texted me out of the blue a couple of weeks ago and asked if Tenderheart wanted a Letterman’s jacket.  It was really random.  I said I didn’t really know because I’d gotten Sunshine one and it turned into a big fight about her never wearing it.  She eventually did, but they’re expensive and I wanted to make sure Tenderheart was going to get enough wear out of it.  She got an academic letter and lettered in tennis her freshman year, and if you’re going to get one, you should do it your Sophomore year so you can wear it three years.  He was talking about for Christmas.  I told him I’d ask her and let him know.  Then he asked if Moonshine wanted one.  I said, no, because she’s a Senior and if she wanted one, I’d have already gotten it.

He called me earlier in the day last Friday and asked again if Tenderheart wanted a letter jacket.  I told him I didn’t know yet because I really wanted to talk to her about it.  He said he’d already called the school to find out where to get one, and he was going over there to get her one so he needed to know if she wanted it or not.  Huh?  First of all, why would you go over there without her? Just to look?   Second, she’s at school, I haven’t had a chance to ask her yet, can you do it another day?  She had said yes, but I wanted to make sure she’s going to wear it.  If it’s for Christmas and it takes three weeks, we still have plenty of time.

She’d had a really bad week and had been texting me during the day.  Then she called me a little bit after lunch crying, like hysterically.  I didn’t know what had happened.  Did she forget her homework for something? Did she get in trouble?  Where was she crying hysterically? I told her to calm down and breathe.  I asked if Marky Mark broke up with her. And then I prayed if he was going to, he wouldn’t do it at school.  Then she squeaked out, “Dad showed up here.” And I couldn’t wrap my head around a scenario why he would be at her school, let alone take her out of class to talk to her.  She’s at school, you jackass, if you want to see her, come to the house.

So she told me the office called her out of class, someone came and got her and she gathered all her stuff and thought I was just picking her up because she’d had a bad week, however, she had to take a test at the end of the day so I wouldn’t have done that.  I know that stuff because I’m an actual parent.  She walked down to the office and when she opened the door and saw him she tried to walk back out, but he saw her.  He announced in the office that she doesn’t come over anymore and he hugged her.  These are her peers, people you wouldn’t necessarily want knowing your business.  The attendance office told her she could leave, to which I said, Da Fuh?? when she repeated the story.

He said, Oh I’m not taking her, I just wanted to see her and give her something. He walked out to the hall and took her picture. She looked like this but probably with a much different look on her face. 


Then he started crying. Right there, in the hall, he asked why she doesn’t come over and asked about Marky Mark, who he’s met exactly once. He basically wanted to catch up on everything he’d been missing out on. He gave her $20 and said he wished it was more and then gave her a receipt for the letter jacket he’d bought her, but she had to go pick everything out because he didn’t have any information. 

She said she had to get back to class and he hugged her again and then he stood there watching her walk back to class with tears running down his face. What a manipulative bastard!!!! How dare he? And how dare that school let him pull her out of class and take her anywhere? He’s not on any paperwork. He has no permission to get her from class, he’s not even her emergency contact. He’s literally nowhere on her paperwork. 

She was so upset because she’s been avoiding any kind of showdown with him for over a year, and then she was ambushed at school.  He knew she couldn’t get away without causing a scene so he showed up there instead of at our house where she could choose to see him or not. He just manipulates them so badly and it broke my heart that she had to deal with that. 

I’m going to call the school tomorrow and make sure that never happens again. She doesn’t need to put up with that at school, she has enough going on. There has to be a list or something I can put him on. She shouldn’t be upset like that at school. 

So after I got her calmed down and told her to go back to class, I did what I always do and texted the rest of our unit to tell them what happened so they could text Tenderheart and make sure she’s okay. Moonshine called me yelling, and saying basically how dare he, etc. Then she said, I hope he comes here and I’ll tell him exactly what I think about him. I told her the rest of our unit had voted and she’s the scariest so I’m sure no one’s going to see her. Sunshine said, Yeah, Moonshine’s terrifying. You date one of us, you date all of us; and you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. We’re a package deal and I’m so thankful for that. 


1 Comment

  1. carikelley

    I’m so jealous of your “unit” and the way your kids tell you everything. My family is not known for their transparency. :/

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