Have Fun Storming the Castle!
My sister wants me to blog more, so you’ll have her to thank for all this crap.
I had to go to a senior meeting for Moonshine. Yes, she’s a senior, Class of ’16! I can’t believe it, but these senior meetings are serious snooze-fests. And the one the other night was about college and how to pay for it and I’ve been to that one. But I went because Moonshine hasn’t been to them, and I want her to know that I’m just as excited about her graduating as I was about Sunshine graduating. However, 10 minutes into the meeting, she leaned over and said, Can we get out of here? Nope.
And it was supposed to be 5:30-6:30, but people didn’t get there on time, of course, and then they had to translate every single thing she said into Spanish so it was really double the time. I did leave at 6:45 because, really, I had gone straight from work, picked Tenderheart up at practice, took her home, grabbed Moonshine, and didn’t even get to change my shoes. So I was exhausted and starving and getting hangry. We got Chinese on the way home and all was well. But then, Tenderheart needed something from the store so same uncomfy shoes and work clothes out the door to the grocery store. I finally got out of my work clothes around 9:00 when I signed back in to work to finish my day. Longest day of my life since the last one.
How about a swooper update? Only one of my kids has any semblance of a relationship with their dad. He sends impersonal group texts to all three and a few months ago, Moonshine asked to be taken off his mailing list. I told her to be careful because he was going to put up a fight. What he did was this:
Actually, he said, Have a nice life. And maybe he did take her off the list for a while but she’s made her way back on it and it upsets her. It’s so generic and “hope you’re having a nice day” and “I know you guys may have started school” and just impersonal.
A note about group texts: I have a series of groups set up depending on what I have to say. if it’s just for this house like a chore list, I send it to Moonshine and Tenderheart. If it’s something I’d like all three girls to go to then I have a group that includes Sunshine. If I want to tell everyone to send Moonshine a good luck text, I send it to Sunshine and Tenderheart, you get how group texts work. But if I’m telling Sunshine good luck on her first day of school, one, I know when her first day of school is; two, I send it personally to her and tell her how proud I am. If you text a group of people how proud you are, it takes a little bit away from it because it doesn’t feel special. This isn’t me talking, this is what they’ve said about his group texts.
So this past Monday they get a group text that he hopes they’re enjoying the holiday and hope school is going well and same generic stuff. Moonshine said she’s going to ask him again not to include her on the text. She told him it upsets her to get the once a month text and to please remove her. I said with much less conviction than the first time she did this, He might put up a fight, which to be honest, that’s what she wanted in the first place. It’s too late now, but she wanted a show that she still meant something to him.
And listen, I told him two years ago when she started pulling away and not speaking to him what to do. I gave him explicit instructions on how he should handle it and he didn’t even try so I’m not about to talk to him about it again, not that he would ask. I knew what she wanted two years ago, but even I don’t know how to fix it now.
She sent the text, please stop texting me, and he said:
And I said:
No, literally, he said, “Okay. As U wish”. Who are you? How do you not see your child is hurting and needed some reassurance that she still meant something to you? At this point she told me I can’t even invite him to her graduation. And I’m really torn. I mean, I guess I’m over wanting her to have a relationship with him since it’s her choice, but I literally only stayed in Colorado so my kids could have a relationship with him and he’s turned it into this mess where only one of them texts him sometimes. And I wish I thought he cared. He’s moved on. He has a stepdaughter who dropped out of online high school, who’s a teen mom, and who named her baby after him, so what does he need these kids for? They feel replaced. These kids are work, you actually have to step up and care about them and make an effort and go to events, who wants to do that? Me, that’s who.
I told Moonshine good luck ever trying to pull that shit with me because I don’t go away easily…..or ever. She hugged me and said, thank you. You shouldn’t have to thank your parent for sticking around and caring. That’s inconceivable.