Who Says That?

On my drive in today I was listening to the clip of the ESPN reporter who degraded the parking lot attendant and said mean things about her appearance.  I don’t know why she felt that was necessary or what she got out of it, but there it was for all of us to hear.

I sent Tenderheart to a different high school than the older two Shines.  It was a decision I made, and I’ve only questioned it a couple of times.  The school Tenderheart is going to is a better fit for her.  She’s on the poms team, which the Shines’ school didn’t have.  She’s in the business program, which the Shines’ school discontinued.  She’s doing really well there, but I’ve also found it’s a meaner school than the Shines’ school.  And maybe it’s just a meaner time in general.  Maybe when Sunshine started high school, people weren’t as mean?  Or, as Tenderheart’s name implies, maybe she’s just more sensitive.

She has a boyfriend I will forever call Marky Mark.  And one of Marky Mark’s “Funky Bunch” said, “You guys are so opposite.  He’s really cool and you’re not.  He’s really smart and you’re not.”  You can see where that went.  Oh, and he called her clingy.  Really playing on a girl’s insecurities, especially someone with very thin skin and a tender heart.  I told her to tell the guy his jealousy was showing, but she didn’t. What she did is ask Marky Mark if she was clingy and he said she’s perfect.  He then told that guy to leave Tenderheart alone, ala Britney.

She also had one of her “friends” tell everyone she needed to have someone fix her makeup and do her eyebrows.  This resulted in a Twitter scuffle, which is never good.  This guy, yes, I said guy, is one of the worst people I’ve ever met.  He’s just mean.  And he’s one of those guys you can tell he’s hiding his insecurities by attacking other people.  She confronted him and he said he just wanted her to know she looked better without the eye makeup and she needed her eyebrows done.  I told her to tell him he’s not her stylist and to mind his own freaking business.  And she already knows about her eyebrows, but she hates having them done.  And they’re not bad, there’s just a little bit at the very beginning that needs to be waxed.  She hates it.  There’s another girl at her school and someone put on Instagram that she had “sweat band eyebrows”.  Again, I ask, Who are these people?  And I also wonder, Who’s raising these people?

There’s a thing called “roasting”.  I’ve seen it on Twitter and I’m not a fan.  It’s supposed to be all in good fun, but I find it mean.  It’s picking on people and pointing out what you see as their faults.  There’s this group of friends who pride themselves on being “savages”.  People who are proud of themselves for being mean.

I keep telling Tenderheart she needs to stand up for herself.  That people prey on the weakest link, which she is, and when they see it bothers her, they just keep going.  It’s a feeding frenzy with a bunch of piranha.  They made fun of her for bringing Marky Mark a Starbucks drink.  She brought him candy and didn’t wrap it.  She stuttered when she tried to say something and they jumped on her.   untitledBut, really, how about we leave Tenderheart alone.  And listen, I’m not a hundred, I remember what high school was like.  I was bullied almost every day by a group of girls who were mad at me for something someone else did.  That’s so much wasted time and energy hating me for something I didn’t even do.  And while I don’t want my kid bullied by the mean girls, although  I’ve found it’s not the girls who are bullying her, which is weird, I also don’t want her to be the mean girl.  So while I want to tell her all the mean things to say to the Funky Bunch and her so-called friends, I don’t want her stooping to their level.  Maybe a light roasting?


1 Comment

  1. Kids are so mean these days and with social media the outlet to “roast” is even bigger. My daughter is in 4th grade, but it starts so early. She is bi racial with wild curly hair and she has her own style. It’s usually her hair (which she can’t do anything about) and her clothes but kids have even called her fat…she came home crying and refused to eat. She’s 9, almost as tall as me and barely weighs 50 pounds, most of which is muscle as she is athletic, there is not an ounce of fat on her, anywhere! I just don’t get it. I tell her, you have two choices, you listen and let it change who you are so they know it hurts or you ignore them and do you, cause if you like you then who cares what other people think? I’m so sorry for your daughter and the hate she has been dealing with, it’s just so unfair and sad as it likely stems from jealousy, but that doesnt make it any easier.

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