Ain’t No Place For Gossip Girls

Okay, I’m trying this new anonymity out and I’ll let you know if it works or if Moonshine kills me.

Moonshine dated Allyn her Sophomore year when he was a Senior.  He asked her out November of her Sophomore year after he broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years who had gone to college.  Then he waited an appropriate amount of time before asking out Moonshine.  He was a good guy.  He will be who she compares all other guys to and they probably won’t be able to compete.  In the January of his senior year she asked him where he saw the relationship going.  I had already told her to just have fun with it because he’s probably going to break up with her after graduation.  I seriously said that ONE.TIME. and she never let me forget it.  However, Allyn said in January that originally he was going to break up with her after graduation but he had fallen for her and didn’t want an expiration date on it.

Then Valentine’s Day, Prom, Graduation, graduation parties, summer hiking and hang outs.  She was in too deep.  They started talking about a long distance relationship (1 hour does not a long distance make).  He told her he wasn’t taking his car but he had a bus pass and wanted to see her as much as he could.  Blah, blah, blah, blah, he talked about staying together and she believed it.   Imagine her surprise when two weeks into him leaving for college, he came back for the weekend and broke up with her.  She was devastated.  Devastated isn’t even a strong enough word for how she felt.  She was blindsided, destroyed, heart broken, which broke my heart.

making-the-decision-to-have-a-child-is-momentous

My heart was walking around outside my body and it was heart broken.  I cried with her, I held her, I listened to her, I tried unsuccessfully to comfort her.  Every new stage I seem to say, this is the hardest stage, but to be honest, this dating part has been the hardest stage.  From her first boyfriend where I could see what a loser he was and couldn’t do anything about it until she realized what a loser he was, all the way to the heart break, this is a hard stage.  And listen, they’re young, it’s all about timing, it was never going to last forever, but Moonshine’s an old soul and she really thought she’d found the one.

There was a four month autopsy of the relationship where they didn’t speak and she realized there were some things about him where she wanted more and she was probably better off, you know, talking herself up.  And then he showed up at the Christmas concert and all that big talk washed away.  She said the minute she saw him she couldn’t remember why they weren’t still together.  And then she went backstage and cried.  But it had been a good relationship and a good break up as break ups go, no one got mean, it was just bad timing and eventually they could get back to the friends they had been before.  So I suggested she go talk to him.  Just say hello, don’t be awkward or he’ll think it’s awkward and it’s not, it was a good relationship, he’s part of your history, just go say hello.  And she did and they had a nice conversation and she called me and cried the whole way home.

Then a mutual friend of theirs hung out with him later that night and texted Moonshine that Allyn wanted to hang out with her again.  He texted her as Allyn was talking to him that he was going to ask her out for coffee over break and there were some “ifs”, like IF Moonshine went to his college and IF they could hang out over break and he still had feelings for her, then he’d want to get back together.  Listen, Gossip Girl, mind your own business, is what she should have said to him.  But what actually happened is she got her hopes up.  She texted him a couple of times over Christmas and he reciprocated but there was never any mention of coffee or hanging out and the texts eventually fizzled out.

Slow forward to this week when he changed his relationship status on Facebook to “In a Relationship”…with someone else.  And I’m so mad at that Gossip Girl for even telling her that stuff.  I’m mad at him for getting her hopes up.  Even if Allyn thought that at the time, it wasn’t his place to tell Moonshine.  And listen, Allyn is a good guy and I wish him nothing but good things in the future, but it’s still really hard to see.  It’s hard to watch my heart walking around and getting stomped on no matter how good the guy is.  90% of relationships is timing and their timing was bad, I just pray God brings her another good guy, because Moonshine deserves a good guy.

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1 Comment

  1. carikelley

    Your secrets are safe with me. Teenage heartbreak is one of the hardest parenting milestones, I agree. 😦

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