They see me Trollin’, They Hatin’
I haven’t been blogging much because I think I have a troll.
One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument
There have been some things said on social media and in Christmas cards that make me think an undesirable has found my blog. Really, I’m not that great at hiding it and with Facebook constantly changing their privacy settings, it was only a matter of time. I put it out there but it’s my blog so I can say whatever I want and as I’ve said a million times before, my kids don’t read it. If you want people to know what a terrible person I am, go make your own blog, it’s free.
And listen, I’m not one of those girls who says, Oh my gosh, you guys, I can’t stand drama, all the while relishing it. I really don’t like drama so I’m not going to engage IRL even though I want to.
I would, however, like to clear up some misinformation regarding my kids’ decision not to go over to their dads and then I’ll start the new year fresh and decide what I’m going to do with my blog. I’d like to get my side out and make sure it’s clear that it’s not my decision. In a perfect world, they would have an amazing relationship with him and I’d have some help, but we’re not in a perfect world, we’re in my world.
Moonshine hasn’t been talking to the swooper for over a year. About two weeks into her self-imposed exile, he stood on my steps and I told him what to do. She was looking for a sign that he cared, some sort of effort on his part to show her how much he loved her and she got a text message with her name spelled wrong.
He recently wrote her and said something like, I’m staying away from you like you asked!, but what kind of parent does that? She was looking for a grand gesture and she got a text.
As for Tenderheart, that’s been more recent that she hasn’t been going over. And I don’t actually know what happened. I think it had been building up. He was letting his teen stepdaughter smoke pot in the house and just told Tenderheart to stay out of that bathroom. Then the stepdaughter had a party while they were gone and trashed the house. They were buying her alcohol. She dropped out of high school. And as a mother, it was so incredibly hard for me to continue letting her go over there with that influence, but I wanted her to have a relationship with him. Ultimately Tenderheart said she wasn’t comfortable over there so I’m not going to make her.
Now, before you judge me, put yourself in my shoes and see it from my point of view, would you put your kid(s) in that position? And it’s their choice not to go and it’s their choice what kind of relationship they want with him but he’s super good at playing the victim like he’s done no wrong. And I’m not even talking about the wrong of leaving, I’m over that, there’s so much more you don’t even know. So how about before you post things about what you think you know, you get the whole story, or better yet, stay out of it and work on your own relationships.
That might have gotten a little specific; but again, it’s my blog.
So, goodbye 2014, see ya never!
And Moonshine is doing so much better after her surgery. It was a lot harder recovery than I thought and she was not feeling great over Christmas, and I had to do things like change dressings and help her clean her sinuses with saline that I was not prepared to do. And I cringed and I had to look away, but I did it. Then this exchange happened:
Tenderheart: Is that what it’s like to be a mom?
Me: What do you mean?
Tenderheart: You say you can’t do something like change Moonshine’s bandages but you do it anyway.
Me: Yup, because it has to get done.
In the trenches today and every day where the real work gets done.