It’s Hard to Get Good Help

One night this week Tenderheart climbed in bed with me and I woke up startled and said, Are you here to kill me? I have no idea what I was dreaming about but it must have been bad. And luckily she wasn’t. Tonight I might not be so lucky.

It’s been rainy and fall here the last two days. I feel like my favorite tree is getting ready to change. Don’t worry, you’ll hear more about that later.

There are a few Thursdays a quarter where I am ridiculously busy at work. Like get to work at 8am, go home at 6pm and work until 11pm. Much busier than I like. That was yesterday. And Moonshine was so nice and fed Tenderheart and took her to Target for a new backpack. I feel like the stars were aligned because there wasn’t even any bickering.

I work with a buffoon, an oaf, a blamer. Anytime he messes up, he says he wasn’t trained on it. And don’t worry, I’m not in charge of his training and he’s been trained on everything he’s messed up. And he’s also related to someone. I’ve heard as long as I can remember, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know; and nowhere is that more evident than this guy. He’s like Doug Heffernan but not cute or funny. Maybe IPS is hiring.

He was supposed to come in early to do something at 9am on the dot yesterday. He’s late every day with a different excuse. Whatever, we’re not curing cancer but it was our busiest Thursday of the quarter. He came running around the corner at 9am, barreling really, like a bull, and my coworker told him he’d already done it. Then, Buffoon said he could have done it by 9 because he had it all set up to just push one button, so he could have come in at 9 and cured cancer at 9 as well. He told us that all day. Dude, I’m not your boss, I don’t care.

So let me tell you about this other chick. Did I tell the story about the receptionist who accused me of drinking all the hot chocolate? She’s also the one who walked into my office and said, Hey, can you listen for the door because the whole office is taking me to lunch for my birthday? Ummmm, obviously not the whole office. Anyway, she’s a peach. She’s been out having the “most perfect baby ever to be born” and we had a temp for a few weeks. She was so freaking nice and everyone loved her. Then she interviewed and got a permanent position. Score!! Then she didn’t pass her drug test. No score! And she’s gone. This is what happened when I took my Drug Test. Not nearly as exciting.

And last story, we had another temp helping us yesterday because, did I tell you we were busy? She’s been there for a few weeks and she moved into my office to help us cure cancer and immediately asked when we go to lunch. I laughed because I rarely leave my desk especially on busy days so I have no idea. I told her to take it whenever she wanted so she left at noon. Okay, so she was quickly trained, I set her up on my laptop, got all the security she needed and she started work. She went to lunch at noon and at 1:30 I thought, huh, I wonder how long a lunch she gets. Yeah, she just didn’t come back. Apparently she didn’t want to cure cancer….or get paid, or work for us again. Maybe she was out getting high with the first girl. Hopefully someone else has a relative who’s looking for a job since that always works out so well.


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