Dressing For Comfort
Okay, I know it’s been over six months since I’ve blogged, but just know that I’ve done a million of them in my head. A.Million.Of.Them. Most will never see the light of day because once I’ve blogged it in my head, it’s gone. Lucky you.
But I’m inspired. And maybe not so inspired as I need to get some stuff out, so get ready for the ride.
My friend Glenn started a NYC blog, and if you’re any kind of reader you know I love New York City. Just look at my shirt!
I love all of it, the theatre/er, the people, the history, the public transportation, everything. In fact, Moonshine and I went to New York in March with her competition choir. However, it wasn’t 8 days with Sunshine like in 2009, it was four days, 16 teenagers, the choir teacher, and me. I was excited when I thought there were going to be a bunch of chaperones, but when I realized it was just me and the choir teacher Nancy, I had a moment when I thought, Wait, I have to keep how many kids alive? What’s a good loss ratio? I knew for sure I was going to have to keep Moonshine alive, but everyone else was kind of expendable, right? But, SUCCESS, everyone came back alive, a couple of them barely.
And this long story-long brings me to a couple of NYC stories.
First, we got to our hotel after meeting the absent-minded tour guide, told the kids where the hotel was located and how the city was laid out, and Nancy and I went for a walk around the area where we were staying. We were walking across the street when this man walked up beside me and said, “You’re the prettiest thing I’ve seen all day.” And I said, Yeah I am! Actually I said, Sir, I think you forgot your dog. Get it? Because he was blind? Okay, he wasn’t blind and what I really said was, Thank you, that’s really sweet. Then he just kept it coming and said, Don’t lose that shape, girl. And I said, Oh, don’t you worry, my friend. He was clearly homeless, but it was good to know I can attract someone, even if it’s a homeless guy. I have a house, he can leave his cardboard box behind. And he fit my standard perfectly, in that he was breathing. I stopped short of bringing him home instead of one of the teenagers, although I could have traded out a couple.
Second, I was walking through Time Square as fast as I could. I’m not a fan of all the crowds and even though I love NYC and would totally live there, I decided you don’t go to Time Square if you live there. So there’s a guy standing in front of a comedy club trying to bring people in. If you’ve been to Vegas or NYC or some other touristy place, it’s constant flyers and pictures and come here and don’t go there. This guy was trying to get people to go to a comedy show and it sounded something like, Come on in, Comedy, It’s really funny, (he was really dry and had a nasally voice), Don’t miss the show. Then I walked by and he said, “Come on in, it’s funny. Not as funny as those shoes.” And it was so obvious that he was talking about my shoes that the guy in front of me slowed, turned, and stared at my shoes. How dare you, sir?? I was dressed for comfort!!
And no post is complete without a Swooper story so, you’re welcome in advance. I’ve been talking about going to New York with Moonshine’s choir since probably last October. I did a fundraiser for it in November and December and the Swooper has known that Moonshine and the choir (including her boyfriend, Allyn) were going to New York and my mom was coming up to watch Tenderheart because he’s incapable. A few days after we got back he called and had obviously been talking to Tenderheart because this transaction happened:
Swooper: Hey, I didn’t know Allyn was going to New York with you. That’s really cool.
Me: Yes, he went. He’s in the choir.
Swooper: Oh, you went with her choir?
Me: Yes. Did you think I just took Moonshine and her boyfriend to New York for the weekend?
Swooper: Yeah, I thought you took them for her birthday.
Me: I’m not nearly that cool.
She turned 16 that weekend.
How awkward would that hotel room be? Me, Moonshine, and Allyn? What are you thinking, Swooper? It was hard enough making sure all the teens were sleeping in their own rooms, professionally cockblocking all the teens, not just Moonshine. But if you need a trip chaperoned, Nancy and I are the gals for you. Discount if you’ll take me back to New York, funny-looking shoes and all.
And by the way, they were Go Walks, not clown shoes, funny man.