Musings from a creepy street.

It’s Saturday night and I’ve had an eventful night. It was homecoming for Moonshine.

She had a friend over to get ready because the friend’s mom doesn’t approve of the boyfriend she’s meeting later at the dance. Great, I’m an accessory.

I know things, a lot of things. I’ve said my kids tell me everything. Sunshine told me everything. Tenderheart tells me everything. I might get 50% from Moonshine, we might be up to 85% but we’re working on it.

Parent etiquette. I provided pizza, they got ready at my house, but when I asked if the friend’s parents could drop off and I pick up and take to the haunted house, I was told, No, I’m going out. It’s all fine because I dropped off and went to a “Yay! I’m divorced party”, but the other parents wouldn’t take or pick up. It’s weird.

So I’m literally sitting on a street around the corner from the haunted house because it’s in the middle of a warehouse district and there’s nothing for miles. I seriously better get that Mother of the Year award now, for reals.

I’m sitting across the street from this like office building or motel and some of the people have their curtains open. I’m curious about people. I very distinctly remember having the realization that the world didn’t revolve around me. It was high school and I saw my friends talking and I thought it was so weird that something was going on even though I couldn’t hear it. It might have been after a liquid lunch. Deep thoughts by Christy D.

I’m trying not to stare into these windows but I’m fascinated. Number one, is this an office building or a hotel? Number two, what are four guys sitting around on a Saturday night talking about? And what if I looked up there and someone was looking back at me?? I’m freaking myself out.

A guy just walked by me listening to his headphones with a backpack on. Where’s he going? And in all fairness, Moonshine said I could go in the haunted house with them to which I said, Hells no. Thanks but no thanks. Real life is scary enough. Every single time I walk out of the bathroom and Tenderheart jumps at me, I want to punch her in the face.

I’ve been to exactly one haunted house in my life, and at that one, Rhymes with Schmawn Schmooke picked me up and threw me at a guy with a chainsaw. You can tell it was a long time ago because a) someone could pick me up and throw me, and b) I had a boyfriend. It was like in the stone ages.

So if my options are sitting in my warm car on a creepy street or having to run from a chainsaw guy, I’ll suck it up and sit here hoping I don’t get car jacked. I put a sign on the windshield that says, “Needs new brakes, headlights, brake light, and leaks oil. Free to a good home.” Interesting, no takers.

Update from the blogger, Moonshine had to leave the $25 haunted house about a quarter of the way through because one of her friends started having a panic attack and wet her pants. It’s all about knowing your limits, people, and also knowing where the bathroom is.



  1. carikelley

    A liquid lunch? Like a smoothie? Were you on a diet?

    • Yeah, let’s say it was that.

      • carikelley

        what? Alcohol?! at lunch time? On a school day?!?!

      • carikelley

        in high school!?!

  2. Oh! Canada

    I friggin’ literally cried laughing @ “Every single time I walk out of the bathroom and Tenderheart jumps at me, I want to punch her in the face.” Seriously. Tears.

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