Don’t read this hoping for a point

My whole point on my post about sleeping alone last week was I never really sleep alone because I have my phone. Some past late night chatting maybe or reading the news, constant Facebook status checking. It’s all too much. I’m also not a fan of the iOS 7 Facebook or Word Press or anything. I hate that Apple has all my music and information held hostage.

We have a sermon series at church about radical transformation and I think about what my life would be like without the constant faux connections. Would I make real connections or just become a hermit? On days like today when I didn’t leave the house, I think I’d just be a hermit.

Some nights I forget to close my front door. I’ll wake up and think, Who left the door open? It was probably me. The screen is locked and I live on a cul de sac but locking my door should be a thing I do. And don’t try to figure out where I live because you’d be very disappointed.

I took Moonshine and a group of teens on a singing retreat in the mountains this weekend. I just drove up and dropped off on Friday because Tenderheart had a swim meet on Saturday, which is a whole other blog that I’ll talk about one day when I’m not so mad.

Raising girls is hard and raising two who are so completely different is a new challenge. Sunshine had a great group of friends who loved me. And, no, I’m not delusional and I’m not friends with my kids’ friends but they were genuinely nice to me and a great group of kids. . Moonshine’s friends are a little different. She’s better friends with boys. Her best friend is her ex-boyfriend who she’s desperately trying to make into her gay best friend but he’s not gay.

And Moonshine and I have a different relationship. She’s been through a phase where she lied to me a lot and that’s been hard to get back to a place where I completely trust her. I never checked up on Sunshine once. If she said she was going somewhere, that’s where she was going. I can already see it will be harder to give Moonshine that level of freedom.

So I took her and a group of kids to the retreat and dropped off just trusting she would behave and act normal and get along with everyone, not just the boys. It was hard to leave her, but I had to get back over the mountain before dark. Fail!! This was my drive up.

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And this was my view on the drive home.

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And I spend a lot of time wondering if my headlight is out. Am I the only one who does that?

But I made it home obviously and went straight to bed. And all was well, Moonshine made it home safely and seemingly normal but it’s hard to tell, she’s not as open.

Sunshine going to college has changed my thinking on a lot of things. Last week when I had bad tires and no money I was so worried and I thought back to a time when the girls were younger and I can remember thinking, I’m never going to get through this. Whatever “this” was. And I did and I do, and I’ll keep on getting through the seemingly insurmountable because I have to. And then one day I’ll just have me to take care of. It’s almost impossible not to end a sentence with a preposition.

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