Sunshine’s Finally Legal!!

In honor of Sunshine’s 18th birthday, here’s a list of things she can legally do now:

1. Go to prison.
2. Buy cigarettes or cigars.
3. Two words: face tattoo.
4. How about some giant ear gauges or a nose barbell? Just in case you’re not unemployable enough.
5. Idiot tax – I mean buy a lottery ticket.
6. Get married!! Yay!!
7. Make your own medical decisions.
8. Move out and pay your own bills. Yay!!
Being a grown up sure sounds fun to me.

This is the first birthday in 18 years she hasn’t been here. From the very first one when I held that little girl and told her to be patient with me because I had no idea what I was doing, to last year when I cuddled her awake to be the first one to wish her a happy 17th birthday. Too fast. Time goes too fast.

Every birthday I joke that we can reenact the birth scene. No one ever wants to do that. Thank God. But there’s a family party and cake and dinner and we’re usually surrounded by family and friends. This year it’s different and it’s good and bad and I’m happy and sad. I miss spoon training and seeing her and hugging her guts out and just being a part of her everyday life.

But we go on. We manage. We text, we live in an age of technology where we FaceTime and talk whenever she wants. But knowing all that doesn’t help when I can’t hug her good morning and tell her Happy Birthday. I’ll bet this is the birthday she would have reenacted the birth scene!!! Dang it!



1 Comment

  1. Heart wrenching, I know, it is for me too. She was two weeks old in that picture, in my dining room. I miss her too.

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