Where I start with college advice and then go awry

I feel like I haven’t spewed all my knowledge onto Sunshine so I’ve been overdoing it lately. As everyone knows all too well, she’s going to college in one month from today and I don’t know if I’ve done a good/well(?) enough job preparing her. So I had some time on our way to orientation on Friday and I just started throwing random things at her, which I’ll recap for you now. you’re welcome in advance.

1. Go the speed limit through small towns.

2. Stop with the stupid laugh. She’s developed this annoying habit of sarcastically laughing and it’s awful. And while we’re at it, stop with the old lady voice, it’s not going to go well in college.

3. And cringeworthy things about birth control. Pregnancy is the least bad of the awful things you can “catch”, so use condoms.

Side story: When explaining to her what a pelvic exam involves, she said the only time she wants something metal “up in there” is if her boyfriend’s a robot. I’m still laughing about it.

4. Go to class.

5. Check your tires to make sure they look good and start your car every few days even if you don’t drive it anywhere.

6. I’m not bringing you shampoo or toilet paper so find a Target.

7. When I told her she should take the self-defense course the college is offering she said, Why don’t they also give a class to males to teach them how not to attack women? Fair point.

I’m not going to post where she’s going to school but let’s just say we can both see the Washington Monument, not the base, just the tip.

So I told her this morning that I like that we can both see it because then it will seem like we’re not so far apart from each other. And I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be hard. They talked at orientation about when a good time is to say goodbye and how not to be a stalker. I told her I was just going to say goodbye today.

She’s my first, my baby, we basically grew up together and have been through a lot. How do I just let her go out into the world on her own to make her own mistakes and figure out her way? They also talked a lot about letting go. I mean, it’s all in God’s hands anyway so I don’t know why I’m worrying. And I know it will be fine, and I told her I don’t want to see her until Thanksgiving even though she’s only an hour away.

I was going to finish with something but I’ve really sounded pathetic lately. Gawd, enough of the pathetic because when it comes right down to it, things are good right now. And my BFF Delicious thinks my blog’s too dark anyway.

Oh and I’ve been meaning to do a post about how awesome my sister is. Can you imagine being related to me and having me blog about you all the time? Especially with my memory, I can’t forget anything! How annoying!! Anyway, just know my sister is amazing and I love her.

Walking through the bookstore looking for a T-shirt, one of those annoying MOM ones (not really), I thought, Oh I need to get my dad a hat. He collected hats. Past tense because he doesn’t collect anything now.

And BAM, I’m going to go ahead and keep my pathetic streak alive.

Okay and this is why I don’t blog at night. The monkey called and wished Sunshine luck at orientation and said that maybe they’ll come down and take her to dinner when she’s “settled in”. That sob got to not attend the longest day in the history of orientation, he gets to not help move in, he gets to not do any actual work to get her there, and then swoop in to buy her a dinner. The only words going through my head are curse words so I’ll just stop. And you don’t have to comment how pathetic I am, I know.



1 Comment

  1. carikelley

    I love your advice…esp #4.

    I’m still laughing/reeling/in awe of/horrified by the side note.

    I’m confused about the Washington Monument reference.

    I hate goodbyes too.

    It’s ok to cry a lot.

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