Musings from the airport, it could be any airport

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I took Tenderheart to the airport this morning to start my Summer of No Love. Usually I can get rid of all three of my little darlings, but last year was only two and this year is only one. Don’t get me started on next year. *cringe*

We watched Cast Away last night and I gave her some pointers. And here at the airport I’m trying to find a Jack from Lost who she can follow if they crash on the island. Even though there’s no real body of water between here and Oklahoma, you can’t be too prepared.

So here I sit waiting for her to leave and I wonder some things. I wonder a lot of things, but these are the airport related ones.

1. Why can’t *insert airport here* figure out the security line. I’ve never been here, no matter what day of the week, where it hasn’t been ridiculously long.

2. While we’re talking about security, can I get you to send that full body scan to my doctor? My insurance isn’t great and I’ve been having some concerns about a couple of things.

3. While we’re still talking about security, how about that pat down I just got. First of all, I’m not even flying, I’m just walking Tenderheart to the gate. And two, I usually ask for dinner or a drink before I get that touchy-feely. And third, does this mean we’re dating now? I’m really bad at reading relationship signs, but I feel like second base is dating.

4. Listen, I’m-in-a-hurry-guy, I’m sorry you waited too late to get to the airport but if I were working the ticket counter and you were that rude to me, I’d go slower. It’s counterintuitive, I know, but everyone’s trying to get somewhere, douche.

5. Did you see Dexter last night? Omg, it was so good!!!

6. Oh, back to number 4 guy, pacing in the train and throwing your hands up every time it stops doesn’t make it go faster, it just makes you look like an idiot.

7. And if you’re going to get off the train and run for the escalator, try not to trip over the toddlers in front of you. In the immortal words of Rodney King, Can we all get along?

In short, take your patience with you when you go to the airport, any airport. Everyone else there is trying to get somewhere too. Except me, but Tenderheart wouldn’t let me drop her at the curb.

And now I’m going to go back through security to see if I have a date tonight. 😊

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