Baby step as long as you need but clean your room.


Sunshine and I are having to forge a new relationship. Apparently now that she’s graduated from high school, she’s an “adult”. But by whose standards, I wonder. Last week she worked an almost 40-hour week, does that make her an adult? Is it just because she finished high school? She’s not yet 18, but does turning 18 mean you’re automatically making good decisions? No, but it means you’re legally able to make your own. Do you know how scary that is for me?

So, some rhetorical questions I’m struggling with. Can I still ground her for not cleaning her room? Or can I just shovel everything out to the lawn? Can I ground her from the iPad she got for her graduation or just turn off the wireless? What it comes down to is, what age do I have to stop grounding them?

Today, she wanted to go to a graduation party but I’ve been after her for months to get her room in order. She’s moving downstairs to Tenderheart’s room, which is the smallest and Moonshine’s moving to hers, Tenderheart to Moonshine’s. I’ll draw a diagram later if you want to throw rocks at our windows. And she also has some Thank You cards to finish

Anyway, she was just sitting on the couch Tumblring on her iPad and I told her she wasn’t going to that graduation party unless she worked on her room and did half of her remaining cards. I told her the “I’m too busy with schoolwork” excuse is officially over. Well, that got her moving but at a glacial pace and awful attitude. I gave her until the other girls’ school starts the beginning of August to have her stuff packed up and move rooms. I’m not kicking her out, I’m just moving her to the smallest room so she won’t be too comfortable.

And I don’t want her to move out. I moved out with some loser almost the second I turned 18 and I blew off college and ended up having to move back home because we couldn’t afford our apartment. Why? Because we had no idea how to budget our money, how to live within our means, and I had no business having an apartment.

And of course, I know Sunshine’s going to have to experience all those things but not yet. She’s leaving for college the end of August and that’s going to be her first experience with living away from home, but it’s still in a well-constructed bubble. The laundry’s free and the dryer texts you when your clothes are done. That’s not real-life, my friend, but I’m okay with baby steps. In fact, take as many small steps as you need, just do it from the smallest, cleanest room in the house, please.

See, looks just like a stylish little dorm room.


1 Comment

  1. Mom

    I say a prayer every night for you and your girls. For you to stay just one step ahead and guide them thru the pitfalls that we went thru. You are an excellent mother who has an excellent memory. Stay the course.

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