April Showers? Nah, that’s just me crying.
I was going to wait and blog this from the dentist Tuesday afternoon because Tenderheart has yet another appointment, this time with the orthodontist. Sunshine has a dentist appointment on Wednesday though, so I could always do another post then.
At church on Saturday night for Easter service, they talked about loss. I love going to church on Saturday night so we don’t have to get up early on Sundays. And I love just standing there and letting the worship music wash over me. This week was especially good to keep all those C&Es coming back.
I’ve said before that I don’t have any family here. I have a cousin, but my mom lives in Oklahoma, my sister in Texas, and my dad hopefully in Heaven. So first, I walked in and hugged the woman who works there who reminds me of my mom and I told her, “I’m going to hug you because you remind me of my mom and I miss my mom.” She laughed and said, “Of course, you can hug me any time.”
Then, I shook the hand of the man behind me and he just happened to remind me of my dad. They had the same mustache and smile. The service was moving, and I had to stop singing because I was so overwhelmed holding hands with my girls and praying. So much in that Easter prayer.
Moonshine’s mad at me.
I did everything she wanted today. I left work to take her to the bank in order to open her a new account with a debit card. I took her with me to take Tenderheart to swimming so she could drive home because she got her permit on Friday, but then something happened at home that set her off. And by “set her off”, I mean made her retreat into herself, into her room, away from us. Now, I don’t know what happened because she wouldn’t share it, but she went to bed early. Maybe all she needs is extra sleep, but I’m never going to make it through all these mood swings. And three girls all mood swingy, I don’t know how I make it from one day to the next. It’s exhausting, I’m exhausted.
Moonshine’s very “I need a plan”, and it drives me nuts until I realize that I’m very “I need a plan”, I just don’t always want to make one, and there’s so many things you have to consider when it’s you making all the decisions. I’d just like someone to come in and make decisions for me for like a week. They should have a decision maker like a pet sitter you can hire. Maybe they could figure out the meals for us too.
And back to Easter. I had to go by the Monkeys after church because he had some money to help with all of Tenderheart’s teeth pullings last week. For my new reader, which is no one, the monkey left me for his first cousin, Felony Melanie after years of hiding their affair and convincing me that I was crazy for suspecting it because they’re related, and “that’s just gross”, he’d say. It was not amicable and while we have to speak because we’ve bred three children, we are not friends. I would probably not call 911 if his house was on fire, except that I totally would because I’m an idiot. The point is we don’t have combined parties or socialize and I don’t plan to in the near future. Maybe when I’ve been lobotomized and forgotten the years he cruelly stole from me as I lived with a sociopath, we could party together. Don’t hold your breath.
So Saturday night after church and Sam’s, Tenderheart ran up to the Monkey’s door and grabbed the envelope and came back with Easter cards for Moonshine and Sunshine…and for me. Wait, what now?
Let’s say I’m Christy Doolittle. I actually dated a guy named Doolittle so it’s plausible. So the outside of the envelope said, “To the Doolittle Family” and the front looked like this:
And then Sunshine read it to me as I was driving, and I threw up a little in my mouth. And believe me when I say, I wish I was a better Christian. Because a better Christian would have just thought, Oh that’s nice. But what I really thought was, What an asshole! It was basically a card to the ex-Doolittle Family, from the new Doolittle Family and never before then had I ever wished more that I had been able to move on and be settled with someone else and be someone else, not a Doolittle.
And then I thought, The nerve! That whore signed a card wishing me a happy Easter when she’s living my double income life with my husband while I’m struggling not just paycheck to paycheck but minute to minute?? And yes, realistically, I know we would have never lasted because I know it was never just her, and I’m irrational, but…the nerve. And we have mood swings going around here so I’m just as prone as anyone else, bastard.
And do you want to know who’s never mad at me and loves me no matter what? This bitch.
I hope she doesn’t leave me for my iPad. She seems to be inching closer and closer to it.