“I helped Norman pick out the dress she was buried in. Periwinkle blue.”

Day two at the dentist with Tenderheart and more anxiety. I told you yesterday she had the monkey’s teeth and now she needs two extractions and a cavity filled. Tenderheart’s problem is she’s terrified of blood so she does anything she can to keep her baby teeth from falling out. She’s unique.

Yesterday some person people got the impression that my sister and I aren’t close. Of course we’re close and if we can decide on a city, I will totally retire next door to her, however, the way things are going I’ll probably be living in her guest house. I’m sure it will be nicer than anything I can afford.

I don’t think anyone reads my blog. I think if I wondered about who was reading it, I would write differently. Like if I had a bunch of people from high school or from my old job, I might candy coat things and make myself look more successful. I’m sure I couldn’t make myself look less successful.

Maybe if people I know IRL read my blog and see me working the corner on the street, we can have a secret hand shake so I don’t repeat stories.

I played bar trivia last night. I’m kind of famous for how much I know about things that don’t matter like the color of Norman Bates’ mothers dress, periwinkle blue. But if it’s important, I probably don’t know it.

I learned that the hard way when I went on a cruise with my step mom a few years ago and we went down to play a little trivia. We hooked up with another small group and I knew exactly zero answers. You know what I was good at? Nodding in agreement at the smartest looking guy there.

So I was nervous when I was invited to bar trivia, but I can still nod convincingly so I thought I’d give it a try. For like the first five rounds, I was cookin’ with butter and then we got to the smart guy questions and had no smart guy. It was me, Bingo (who I’ve mentioned before), and Sunshine’s music teacher.

Is it wrong that I opted not to go back with Tenderheart and just said, “Good luck” as she looked like she was going back to the electric chair? This is part of my scheme to get her to toughen up. I’m a terrible parent.

Back to bar trivia. I wish I was a beer drinker. The trivia was at a brewery and I tried an Apricot Blond but wasn’t a fan. I then tried the root beer….delish! So I rocked at the movie quotes, of course, but when they started talking about sea animals I guessed every answer was the sperm whale. Not one of them actually was.

The dentist just came out for me to sign Tenderheart’s life away and I asked him if he could pull another tooth while he’s in there. But seriously, I’m going to take her to the ortho, he’s going to say this one last baby tooth needs to go, and I’m going to have to come back to this God forsaken place. They are not about convenience around here.

All first world problems. So back again to bar trivia. We weren’t last, we didn’t win, but I had a blast.

And they came back out to tell me they’re going to pull that other tooth out. She’s going to be so happy with me sitting out here in the lobby blogging and watching the fish tank. I’ll take my MotY trophy now, please.

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