The best that you can hope for is a shorter blog

I forgot the most recent story of why I’m not upper management when I did my blog last week. I have a coworker I’d never date. Not because he’s a coworker, but because he’s a smoker. And while I joke about my only requirement for my next husband is that he’s breathing, I, in fact, would not date a smoker.

My dad died of pancreatic cancer and he was a smoker. A pipe. Isn’t that weird? I didn’t think that when I was a kid but it’s weird that my dad smoked a pipe.

Anyway, this CIND (coworker I’d never date) is in the office across from my boss and he’s an Oklahoma State fan. There’s another reason I’d never date him, but he said he roots for the Sooners when they play someone else. This is the longest story with the shortest payout in history.

Last casual Friday I wore my OU tshirt and stopped outside his office and pointed at my boobs tshirt and made some incoherent sound like Eh!?!? I don’t even know.

Oh, and he’s a gambler and if you’re familiar with my history you know I have no tolerance for gamblers unless you’re talking about the song because I quote that more than you’d think. The monkey lost a lot of money on football betting and CIND is into poker tournaments.

So this entire post, which was supposed to be wishing Moonshine a happy birthday is turning out to be proof that I wouldn’t just date a breather. Look at me with my high standards. He can’t be a smoker, a gambler, or an OSU fan.

And Happy 15th Birthday to Moonshine!! Fifteen years ago I gave birth to a 9lb 15 oz bundle of joy in the second most painful birth on record. She keeps me on my toes and makes me laugh every single day. 20130321-065908.jpg

Just yesterday she was only 14.

And here’s the advice I give to Moonshine and all my kids really. You’ve got to know when to hold them. Know when to fold them. Know when to walk away, and know when to run. You never count your money when you’re sitting at the table. There’ll be time enough for counting when the dealing’s done. Sometimes I say it in a British accent.

And when I say, What’s the best that you can hope for? My girls know to say, To die in your sleep. No truer words, Kenny Rogers.

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