Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things

I lost a friend this summer.  And not in the “Hey, where’d your friend go?” way, but in the, “What do you mean she died?” way.  I’ve blogged about her before HERE and HERE.  The second HERE was really about her husband and my accidental hugging.

She was one of those people who was a real blessing in my life.  Like I don’t know if you understand what I mean when I say she was a blessing.  I’ve really only had a couple of those in my life so to lose one, especially when she was so young is hard to fathom.  I’ve actually had a really hard time with it this summer.  And not that it’s about me, it’s about her and her amazing family, but the way it hit me was hard and difficult to wrap my head around.  I still think, Oh, I need to call her, but I can’t.

She gave me a job at the dance studio so my girls could continue dancing before/during/after my divorce.  My divorce was really a drawn out process that lasted years.  Not because either of us wanted anything from the other, but we were both too lazy to do anything about it.  There was a Sonic in the same parking lot as the dance studio and either I would stop and get her a Route 44 iced tea while getting my Diet Coke or she would do it.  One day when we both walked in with two giant Route 44 drinks, we realized we needed better communication.

One year a few days before Christmas I was talking about how I hadn’t finished my shopping because I needed something for the girls and she asked me if I wanted to take her Kohl’s card next door to finish up.  Who offers that?  I don’t know of anyone that would offer something just so freely and earnestly that I know if I really needed it, she would have gladly let me borrow it.

There was a season in our lives that it seemed we were following each other around town.  I would randomly see her at the Target across town or at Red Lobster.  We would say, Stop following me, but she was always ready with a smile and a hug.

Sitting in my dad’s funeral, I thought several times, Who in the world are they talking about?  They were talking about an amazing guy I didn’t really know.  I didn’t see that side of him, ever. Sitting in Barbara’s funeral, I knew exactly who they were talking about.  She was a God-loving, amazing mother who was taken way too soon and I was blessed to have her in my life.



  1. Shawn

    What a nice commentary. I’m sorry for your loss. We all need friends like that in our life. People who inspire us to be better humans.

  2. Gfaith

    Is it offensive to you if I curse in my comment? Holy shit, I appreciate your post. I can hear your heart and I appreciate that – an you.

  3. Betty VanNoy

    You are amazing, you have an extrodinary writing talent, and so much love.

  4. Whitney

    I’m so sorry for your loss Christy! It’s amazing to be blessed with such a wonderful person in your life. I always believe that God has a reason for every person that we encounter. You are a very strong and wonderful lady and Mom!! May the memories of your friend stay close to your heart forever. Prayers and hugs!!

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