Always a Cop When You Need One

I decided I’m going to have Tell You Something Tuesday and Wordless Wednesday, but not this week. 

I wish I could get paid to review products, I would be really good at it.  I have a huge problem with late night internet ordering, which explains the Bob Harper $5 DVDs that are still in the package and the Zumba DVDs.  Also the Trendy Tops and Magic Mesh screen door.  It’s really a problem especially for someone who’s as underemployed as I am. 

So I got really excited about my new job offering me a full-time position when they told me it would take months because it wasn’t even approved yet.  I guess it’s just nice to be nominated and we’ll see what happens.  Here’s what I know, somehow I’m making it through every month, but it’s defying logic and I’m definitely going to need to find another job soon.

I got pulled over last week.  It’s the first time I’ve been pulled over in a really long time because I’m a good driver, y’all.  In fact, I haven’t been pulled over for a driving infraction in the past 10 years.  I got pulled over once because my tags had expired, but I’m a really safe driver.  And I’m not just saying that because my insurance agent is my Facebook friend, not that anyone reads this blog. 

So as I said, I’m a really safe driver until last week when I came out of the grocery store parking lot the wrong direction to take Tenderheart’s friend Minnie home and I needed to do a U-turn.  The first place to turn around had a great big No U-turn sign and I said, “I know it says no U-turn, but I’m doing it anyway”.  Of course, I didn’t say that to the policeman who I almost ran right into as I was completing my U-turn.  He was like a predator, just waiting at the gas station for idiots like me making a U-turn at the No U-turn sign.  

I don’t understand what you mean

Why did I do that?  I could have gone around.  It would have taken me longer,  but I could have done it.  It’s not like I was lost or something.  I went to turn right as he pulled out behind me and I prayed loudly that he wouldn’t pull me over, but as I was turning right, his lights came on.  I pulled into the gas station he pulled out of and under a tree because I might as well be out of the sun if I was going to be there for a while.

As he walked to my car, I decided I wasn’t going to cry.  I could have, but that could go either way.  I haven’t had a ticket in forever so I had no idea how much it was going to cost me, but any amount of money for something that isn’t budgeted is too much.   He got to my window and he was the cutest!!  Oh my gosh, police officers have gotten really cute.  If I knew where older ones hung out, I might drive a little faster or make more U-turns in their area. 

I rolled down my window and said, “Okay, I know what I did but I was already committed to it before I saw the sign.”  I’ll bet he was the first police officer to ever be lied to.  The first thing he did was ask for my phone number and write it down.  Is that normal?  Then he took my insurance, which I had about 15 proofs of insurance, all expired.  I finally found one that expired in three days and gave that to him and then gave him my registration, surprise, also expired.  I’m telling you, I don’t ever get pulled over.  Everything was up-to-date, which I can’t say every year, but this time, I just couldn’t find the right one. 

He made us wait, which is why I was in the shade, and then he walked back up and told me he was giving me a warning.  This is where I started crying, more like burst into tears.  I was so thankful for that guy, I didn’t know what to do with all that emotion.  Anyway, he said there’s a lot of accidents there and he’d hate to have to respond to an accident involving me and my kids. 

Here’s where it got a little questionable.  He gave me a comment card.  He gave me his card and a phone number to call and talk about my experience.  Huh?  Is that normal now?  Does everything come with a comment card?  And does he get a raise if he gets a good review?  or does he get in trouble for not giving me a ticket?  Is there some kind of quota they have to meet?  I want to call and tell them how cute and courteous he was, but I don’t want him to get in trouble for not giving me a ticket, or they would give me a retroactive ticket?  

I decided I’m calling though and I’m starting with how cute he was and ending with how nice he was and then see if I could set him up with Sunshine.  It might be nice to have a cop in the family.


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