First Day Jitters and Drug Testing
I’m working in the office this week. All.Five.Days. I know you have no sympathy for me as I’m only working five hours a day, but let me just tell you that at about 11:30 am, I started yawning like nobody’s business. I think three and a half hours is my limit, but I pushed through to five hours and made it!! Yay me!
Then I had to go take a drug test. I’ve worked at the same place since the dawn of time until some d-bag came in and decided I shouldn’t be working there anymore. Oh, look at me, still bitter. I’d punch that guy in the face if I saw him on the street. Wouldn’t he be surprised….probably not. There’s a line of people that want to punch that prick in the face. I need to be a better Christian.
Anyway, so I don’t know that I’ve ever taken a drug test for a job. I think in 1991 when I worked for Airborne Express, is that still around? I might have taken one for them since you don’t want someone doing mindless data entry to have a drug problem.
I’m not going to tell you where I work, but first thing this morning the HR rep came in and was very insistent that I fill out a ton of paperwork and schedule a drug test today. Well, seriously, my first day of work was my co-workers first day of vacation and I was covering a desk that I had never done before. I was reading procedures, not worrying about a drug test. The HR rep came in three more times to make sure I’d set it up. Do I look like I get the munchies a lot? Apparently.
So I set up the drug test and then timing of the pee became really important. Do I go now or can I wait? They gave me the wrong address so 45 minutes later, I finally make it to the place; however, it was an actual doctor’s office so they had, you know, patients that were a higher priority. I sat there for another 30 minutes still having to pee. Then they call me back and I see an end in sight when they realize they have the wrong paperwork and they need something faxed over.
I sit in the back yet another 20 minutes and I’m getting ready to leave when she finally comes back and says she got the paperwork needed and I can go ahead and pee. Good heavens, I thought I was going to die. Then I wondered if they could check for other stuff since I don’t have medical insurance. But they didn’t, just drugs, and I think I passed. I’d better have passed, I haven’t even taken Advil in as long as I can remember.
Then I promised my two office mates that they’ll never have to hear about my pee again, and I’m making that promise to you as well. You’re welcome.