Treats with Tenderheart

Did you know I have a third daughter? I do. Her name is Tenderheart because she’s the most sensitive of the bunch. She goes to a gift and talented K-8 school and I wish you could hear me say gifted and talented because it just rolls off my tongue with a certain air about it. It all started when I took her in for testing a few years ago and heard the parents saying, gifted and talented in a way that sounded god-like. I’m not saying Tenderheart’s not smart, but I feel like it’s probably a fluke that she even got in. I’m not a “Look at me and my gifted and talented child” parent, and the whole thing makes me laugh a little.

What she is is different, but putting her in a “different” school doesn’t sound nearly as prestigious as a gifted and talented school, right? She’s left-handed and right-brained and she thinks outside of the box. She talks funny and doesn’t always fit in with other kids, even the ones in this family. I’ve painted quite a picture haven’t I?

So a few weeks ago she tells me that she has to do a project on ancient Greek food. Okay, sounds good. She needs me to help her make the food and go in for the presentation, which she called the presention (pronounced pre-zen-shun). Yeah, she’s G&T all right. I told her not to tell me last minute and I’ll remind you quickly HERE of her pension to do things last minute or forget things. If it were up to me, I would just as soon buy something as make it. Like, can we go to the bakery and get Baklava or something? I know that’s Turkish, but can’t you call anything ancient Greek? Apparently not.

So day before she needs to make the food, she tells me we need to get Barley flour, white wine vinegar, sesame seeds, feta cheese, and thyme because we’re making Honey Sesame Fritters and Barley cakes and tzatziki. You can just guess the pronunciation on tzatziki, but it’s apparently ancient Greek for dip.
And apparently this is how the ancient Greek’s cooked without the oven or Greek yogurt. First problem, I couldn’t find sesame seeds. Then I couldn’t find Barley flour and had to get Rye flour because it seems like barley and rye are very similar. Who knows? Guess what, there were no actual ancient Greeks there to tell us we got it wrong. We also had to stock up on Diet Coke, for this non-ancient Dutch/Native American to get me through an actual night of baking with Tenderheart.

So we did.

Then she decided she needed to wear an apron and tied it up around her neck. Look at my little G&T princess. You can also see the hole in the wall that started as a roller skating accident and ended with Molly eating drywall and not dying. I really need a handyman.

She’s mixing left-handed which always looks weird and was completely messy.

Here are our Barley Rye cakes:

And here we are cooking our sesame fritters. Now, seriously, the only ingredients in these were flour, honey, and water, which without the honey would have been paper mache, right?

You fried them in olive oil, then dipped them in honey, and rolled them in sesame seeds.

Looks delightful!

Then you watch Tenderheart adjust her headband three times while standing in front of the smart board at the G&T school while she answers questions from other 6th graders about why Greeks had to eat.

End scene.

It’s days like today that I’m glad I’m NJC (no-job Christy) because I can do stuff like that and hang out with her at her school rolling fritters in honey and sesame seeds. But when I see my bank account and all that red, I get a little nervous. And look at me, on a Thursday with no monkey bashing.

Okay, I saved it for the end.

He has a new text signature. You can read HERE about how much I love a good text signature. He was answering if he was going to get Moonshine or not.


I’m on the right.

And I guess I can’t talk anymore because I have nothing nice to say.

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