Parent/Teacher Conference=Humiliation for this Parent

I don’t know if I can keep the monkey bashing to just Thursdays, but I’m really going to try.

So imagine this, I’m in a Parent/Teacher conference for Sunshine in the fourth grade. 

Me:  Okay, tell me how great Sunshine’s doing. 

Teacher:  Yeah, Sunshine’s not reading at grade level and her comprehension is really low.

Me:  Saywhat?

I thought she’d been doing really good, but when I looked back at her last report card, sure enough, right next to where the monkey signed, it said, Sunshine is not reading at grade level and her comprehension is low.  Did he read that and think we should do something about it?  Nope, he didn’t even read it.  You can read HERE what happened and she turned it all around.

When Moonshine was in the fifth grade there was a three-month period where she didn’t do her homework.  She just wasn’t doing it.  Every day I would ask if she had homework and she’d say no, and I’d think, that’s weird, then one day I found out she had actually just not been doing it.

I wonder how many people break down crying in a Parent/Teacher conference.  I’ve told the story before, but when I was in the fourth grade with Mrs. Foster, I used to have to write sentences that said, I will not talk in class.  Well, on the fourth time of having to write, I will not talk in class, I had to have my mom sign the sentences.  Well, that just sounded like trouble, so I decided to forge her name for her, you know, to save her the trouble.  Mrs. Foster never said anything so I thought I was home free.  Well, on Parent/Teacher conference day my mom came home with the knowledge that I was a forger and I was in real trouble.

This Parent/Teacher conference, every single one of Moonshine’s teachers told me she’s not working at her full potential.  They love her and she’s very bright, but it’s frustrating because she doesn’t work very hard.  I don’t know what’s she’s doing, I don’t know what she thinks, but she’s barely just getting by.  So the last class of the night was with her math teacher who was not very friendly or welcoming.  I found out later she thinks I’m a deadbeat.  She told me that Moonshine had only done 4 homework assignments out of the 19 that had been assigned, I was shocked, but not really surprised.  I was shocked because I thought we were past this, but not really surprised that we were still talking about it.  Here’s the kicker.  She then told me she’d had Moonshine call home last week to tell me she hadn’t been doing her homework and I looked at Moonshine and asked who she called and she told me the monkey’s gal. 

I think I called her Felony Melanie in another post because she spent 6 years in prison for trying to have her first husband killed.  I can’t believe I even know someone like that, let alone she’s a part of my kids’ story.  So Moonshine called her because she knew she wouldn’t get in trouble.  This chick only has custody of one of her kids that she let get a tattoo at 13 and the girl then ran away with a guy she met on MySpace.  Is there a MySpace anymore?  FM didn’t tell anyone that Moonshine called, so another week and a half went by with Moonshine not doing her homework.

I was furious, then humiliated.  I think because I pride myself on being a parent.  I really don’t have that much going for me right now, so I pride myself on having the relationship I do with my kids.  I talk to them every day about what kind of homework they have and what they did that day.  I just talked about how much closer Moonshine and I were getting and I was trusting her to do more, but then she shot that all to hell by lying about her homework every day.  Her “don’t you trust me?” eyes and her pleading to go to the mall and she’s been lying about everything else?  Awwww hell no.  Her life as she knows it is over, she was in for quite a shock this morning when I made her leave her phone on the TV and walk on out the door.

Skip to the day after P/T conferences and I’m still fuming at the monkey and his gal.  I get a call from him and tell him what’s going on and how mad I am and about an hour later there’s a knock on my door.  He told me he went to school and Moonshine told him she’d really called herself, not Felony Melanie to leave a message with herself that she wasn’t doing her homework.  Humiliation, Day 2!  Then he stood in the door and gave me some parenting advice.  Yeah, he did.  He told me not to be too hard on poor Moonshine because she already knew how much trouble she was in.  This is where my head exploded and I told him he had to leave.  Now, I clearly don’t know how to parent if I’m raising a sociopath, but he REALLY doesn’t know how to parent since she’s learned it all from him. 

Right now she’s grounded for the rest of her life and I’m trying to decide if I need to teach her a code like Dexter or if this is just something she’s going to grow out of.  I hope she does it fast though because Moonshine and I are going to have a really hard time of it until she does.

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7 Comments

  1. MB

    The thousand injuries, I had bourne as best I could, but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge. You who so well know the nature of my soul, would not suppose however that I gave utterance to a threat. I must not only punish but punish with impunity. At length, I would be avenged, for a wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser, it is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong.

    One day, it just wont matter. All teens are the same, they think they are clever and smarter than parents but they are just not. Don’t take it personal, it is not. Although hard to see now, one day she will come back and appreciate you for all you’ve done. Pain now, reward later.

    • Thanks for the encouragement, Mike. I really feel torn between being anxious to get this part over with and seeing how the chips fall and enjoying every day.

  2. Kay

    Christy,

    I am commenting from the ByeByePie page. You responded about the Dexter Code! Too funny. I feel that way too. Sounds like we could compare notes!

    • Yes, Kay, we should definitely compare notes, but NOT get our 13 YO boy and girl together for any reason! Ha! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting.

  3. carikelley

    Thanks for this little tale of woe–…it makes me feel like I’m not alone. My precious rockstar has always had similar tendencies as Moonshine, and it probably won’t make you feel better if I tell you that, at this point, his graduation is in question. Is there such a thing as ‘shaken teenager syndrome”? Because I just know a good shaking would help, don’t ya think?!

    • Hahaha, I just told Moonshine she’s too big to spank, but I’ve rethought that several times. Could I catch her? Could I lift her over my knee? Are my knees as good as they used to be? There’s so many things.

      And don’t think I haven’t threated homeschool about a million times, but the next step is to go to school with her and sit in every class. Her teachers said I was more than welcome!

  4. Kay

    Christy, I had not read the post when I commented before. I just read it. Wowza! I know all about the lying. My 13yo boy is a master at lying. He is manipulative and sneaky too. We worry all the time about how he will turn out. We don’t want him to go down the wrong path. Man, parenting is tough!

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