The Woman in Black, Cute Enough
Okay, here it is. I know you’ve been waiting forever for my review on The Woman in Black, but I just saw it last Friday night with Moonshine. Sunshine had her first paid babysitting gig and Tenderheart was at her dad’s.
My rating scale is Your Baby’s Ugly and by “baby”, I mean movie; and by “ugly”, I mean terrible.
But seriously, there’s no way I could call his baby (IN the movie) ugly, just look at him!!
Spoiler alert, he had a son.
First, I’m going to start with my night. There was supposed to be a lot of us, Moonshine and her friend, Sunshine and her friend, and me all going to see the movie. Well, Sunshine went out and got her own babysitting gig so she cancelled, then Moonshine’s friend cancelled so it was just me and Moonshine, which was a lot of fun. We went to dinner at Tokyo Joe’s, which I always remember I love, but don’t eat there because they’re a Pepsi product. Yeah, I’m one of those people. But really, Diet Pepsi gives me a headache and Diet Coke runs through my veins. But it was okay because the movie theater is Coke product so I ordered water at Tokyo Joe’s. All first world problems. Seriously, a white chicken bowl with white rice and teriyaki sauce was just what I needed after a terrible dentist appointment on Thursday. That’s a whole other blog. If I were rating Tokyo Joe’s, Your Baby’s BEAUTIFUL!
Second, we go next door to the movie and I’m afraid I’m going to end up ranting about how inconsiderate people are in the movie theater, but let me talk a little about the movie first. You’ll have to read HERE about my Paranormal Activity 3 rant. So, Daniel Radcliffe, a little distracting. I can see how an ardent Harry Potter fan might have trouble with him in this role. I don’t know if his first big post-Harry Potter film should have been set in London or have scenes on a train. How’s your American accent, Mr. Radcliffe? But he was very good in the movie. I really like him a lot and thought he did a great job in this part. I also understand that he has to start somewhere post-Potter, right?
I think I might not like scary movies very much. I like them at home just fine, but nowadays with everyone and their toddler having a cell phone, I find it’s really hard to watch something suspenseful with a bunch of jackasses that don’t understand when a Lorax stands up and tells them to be quiet and turn their phones off. Was that just in my theater? And when I was a teen, my best friend and I went to opening weekend of every Nightmare on Elm Street movie, so I know there was a time when I liked scary movies in the theater, but maybe that time has passed, along with my youth.
So between the girls immediately behind me with their feet up on the seat next to me talking through every single scene like they were trying to figure out a Lord of the Rings movie, to the two girls in front of me that giggled their way through every scene and started yelling expletives when the suspenseful parts were, to the lady two rows back that was snoring, I’m just going to say one word, DISTRACTING!!
This is also coming from someone who sits close in church so I’m not distracted by those who think their kids are above children’s church. Actually, I don’t know what they think, but we have a nursery for a reason. I don’t really want your kid staring at me while I’m praying no matter how cute you think he is. Good heavens, I don’t know when I got to be crotchety old Christy, but I think it was last Friday night in the movie. You know, it’s just that you pay so much that you want a good experience, or maybe that’s me.
Back to The Woman in Black. I hated the ending. Spoiler alert, I did not like the ending. There were a lot of jump scares that I usually just end up watching through my hands, so I guess that was fun. And all in all, the movie was good. Here’s my problem with scary movies, you have to REALLY suspend your disbelief. And this is coming from someone who has a whole fantasy life in my head that I’ve won the lottery and married Vince Vaughn. But in this movie, you have to assume that the main character thinks he’s doing the right thing by continuing to go back to the creepy house even after witnessing some pretty scary ish. Any rational human being would be out of there, but he just keeps going back because he “has a job to do”. No job’s worth what he had to do, I’m just saying.
So maybe I can’t suspend my disbelief enough, or I kept wanting him to bring his wand out; but all in all, I would recommend it to someone, I just wouldn’t see it again. I can’t tell if that makes his baby ugly or not, but he’s definitely not ugly in the movie. Okay, I’ll say, Your Baby’s Cute Enough.