I’m a Good Friend to Have. Really.
It’s almost time for my family anti-newsletter. Are you so excited?! I would be. It’s going to be chock full of exciting and interesting things we did this year. Wait, we didn’t do anything exciting or interesting this year?
I’ll bet we did. Okay, well, I’m sure I can come up with something exciting and/or interesting that I haven’t blogged about. I mean, I only did like 15 blogs this year so I’m sure I did something else that I didn’t tell you about. Expectations low, people.
I was going to blog about friends. I find it hard as an adult to make new friends. Of course, this is coming from someone who doesn’t have any friends from high school, so it’s also hard for me to maintain friendships.
Side note: I find it so fascinating when people are still best friends with someone they went to high school with. Aren’t you sick of those people by now?? Haven’t you heard all their stories? This coming from someone who still considered my best friend from high school my “best friend” five years after we stopped speaking, but only so I could say I still had a best friend.
Maybe I’m not a very good friend. I’m going to think about that for a minute…..yeah, I’m not that great a friend. But I’m a good friend to have, if you can put up with me. I’m the kind of friend that had my friend and her two toddlers stay with me for a month before they relocated to another state. I’m the kind of friend that will drive you to the airport or watch your kids and/or dog. I’m the kind of friend that will housesit for you when you’re out-of-town and consider that my vacation.
I’m telling you, I’m a darn good friend to have, I just don’t seem to have that many. Here’s the kind of friendship I need. I need to be able to not talk to you for months, but when I do, it’s as though no time has passed. I’m not a great day-to-day friend, but I’m there if you don’t need a lot of maintenance. I literally could go DAYS without talking to people, but when I’m in the mood to talk, you can’t shut me up.
Facebook is perfect for people like me. I’d like to see what you’re up to, but don’t really want to see you in person (with few exceptions, but you probably don’t know who you are). I like to look at pictures of your family, but I’m probably not going to attend a reunion. I like to make snarky comments on your posts and have you think I’m marginally funny, but let’s not meet for coffee. However, if you’re in Colorado and need a place to stay, I’ve got the room. I realize how weird that sounds.
I’ll read your blog and comment (hint, hint), I’ll like the pictures of your kids, I’ll drive you to and/or from the auto shop, I’ll even have an incredibly long e-mail relationship with you; just don’t expect me to call you every day.
My sister and I used to play a game where we would literally drool and say, Will you be my friend? I realize now that it was probably really offensive, but as kids we thought it was hilarious. There’s someone new I want to be friends with right now and Sunshine accuses me of being a stalker. So how do you make friends as an adult?
The problem is I’m socially awkward. Once you get to know me, you would think I’m an extrovert, but I really have a lot of social anxiety in new situations. Do you know how many people I’ve worked with that have said, When I first met you I thought you were a rhymes with witch, but you’re really nice/awesome/fill in the blank? Let’s just say it’s been more than one.
I did just meet a new friend that had a table next to me at my first craft fair who I found to be awesome, but it literally took me an hour and a half of sitting next to her to actually say anything to her. I just don’t know what to say to people I guess. I’m terrible at parties where I don’t know anyone. Either I run out of things to say, or as you can imagine, I completely overshare. And I can hear myself say in my head, Shut up, Christy; but I just keep talking so there’s no lull in the conversation.
I was in a situation last week where I had to make small talk and a woman I’d met before and would love to be her friend asked me how my Thanksgiving was. I said, Well, my dog died and my kids went to their dad’s so it wasn’t great.
I’m serious when I say I’m a bad country song. I lost my job, I lost my dog, my pickup’s broke down. Okay, I don’t have a pickup, but that’s really all I’m missing.
When I saw the look on her face, I said, I’m sorry, you probably just wanted to hear “Fine”. And she said, No, it wasn’t fine so that’s okay. Then she sat at my table for lunch with two other women and I just listened because I couldn’t get in a word. I love when I sit with other oversharers, it’s like a friendship made in heaven.
Okay, so here’s the part where you put in your application to be my friend. Kidding. There’s really no good way to wrap this up except to say that at 40, I’m still a work in progress. Will you be my friend?