Thoughts Before Thanksgiving
It’s almost my 200th post where I give you 200 obscure facts about me. Just kidding, how dull would that be? Fact number 187, Plants growing on the side of buildings freak me out. That’s all you need to know. It’s really amazing that I’ve actually found 200 things to talk about. Actually only 199, let’s not count our chickens.
So the sermon at my church this last weekend was about how much I’ve damaged my children because of my divorce.
That wasn’t the whole sermon, but you get the jist. I went out of there feeling pretty beat up, and frankly, a little uncomfortable sitting next to my divorced mother and my damaged oldest child. Sunshine said she wanted to e-mail the pastor and tell him that children of divorce aren’t completely damaged and it’s not always both parent’s fault, but I told her to just take what she could and relate it to her life. I really have trouble with that. Sometimes I sit in a sermon and think, so and so (not a real name) really needed to hear that. But it’s always me that really needs to hear that, whatever it might be. And the actual sermon was about repetitive sin with a sidebar about how most divorces are because one or both of the parties are selfish and how much damage it causes our children. Good times. Fact number 2, I have a public restroom phobia, but let’s not talk about that.
It’s almost Thanksgiving and I thought I could talk about what I’m thankful for, but then I wouldn’t have anything to say when we go around the table at dinner. Maybe I could just say, didn’t you read my blog? Which they haven’t because my children aren’t allowed to read my blog for obvious reasons. And apparently they’re damaged enough. Aren’t we all damaged? I mean, really, in some way or another we’re all damaged. Maybe we don’t blog about it, but don’t we just do the best we can and pray that everything turns out all right. We’re not in control, which is really hard for me to come to terms with. Fact number 63, I’m a control freak.
We filled boxes for Thanksgiving this morning at church and then delivered a box.
I’m not ashamed (now) to say that a few years ago I had a box of food delivered to me and we were incredibly grateful for that food. I didn’t know how to feel about delivering a box to someone else because it’s very sensitive, but the girls wanted to, so we did. It was for a family of 6 and included a turkey. The woman was very grateful, but quietly so. Sunshine wanted her to act like she’d won the lottery or something. Three years ago when I came home to find food on my door step, I’ll admit I was a little embarrassed. There’s a certain embarrassment to know that you can’t provide for your family. And I know everyone needs help sometimes, but it’s like announcing to the whole world that I can’t provide for my family. Of course I was grateful and that was the overwhelming emotion, but there was a small place that felt bad about it, felt bad about me. But I also have trouble asking for help. It kills me to admit almost defeat that I can’t provide for my family. Does that even make sense? Maybe no one else has been in that position, and good for you. No, really, good for you. Fact number 57, I have trouble asking for help.
Final Thoughts from Christy: Count your blessings. Use your toes if you need to. And be thankful every day, not just on Thanksgiving. Go around the table and find out what everyone is thankful for; and if you’re my mother, be crying when you do it or it wouldn’t be the same. Spend the day with your family, and remember it’s not just the family you’re related to, sometimes it’s the family you make. And if you have time, go back and read my other 198 blogs for some real insight into the workings of my twisted mind.