It’s The Final Countdown, People

In the second grade I wanted a new identity.  There was another Christy in my class, but she spelled her name weird, like with a K or something.  I decided to go by my middle name, which is Lynne.  I’ve always liked the different spelling and thought, I could totally be a Lynne.  However, I didn’t tell anyone that I was going to do that, I just started writing Lynne on all my papers.  Then one day, the teacher was passing out papers and called, “Lynne…..Lynne?  We don’t have a Lynne in here.”  I had forgotten that I was going to go by Lynne.  My first failed attempt at changing my identity.

When I was 19, I moved to Colorado to get away from some loser.  It’s as dramatic as it sounds.  One miserable month living with my dad, and I moved said loser to Colorado to live with me.  That was my chance to get away and get a fresh start.  To finish college, to meet new people, a higher quality of people.  But I didn’t want to be alone.  I was sad and lonely and he was saying all the right things.  Three months after that I had already outgrown him and moved on to the next loser who would eat bananas and father my children, in that order.

And now I’m alone and really depressing.  Good grief, how do you read this crap?  I’m trying to think of a feel-good story so my blog isn’t so freakin’ dark.  I always said if I went to clubs, my “bar” name would be Cindi.  Cindi’s are cute and fun.  I don’t know if I could pull-off a “Cindi”, but if I ever go through my bar phase I’m definitely going to try it.  My porn name is Stormy Kim, I could try living that for a while.  And now to the main stage, it’s Stormy Kim!    I like it a lot actually. 

I was thinking  today about how we identify ourselves.  I was in a bible study a couple of years ago and I said I was “just” a something.  Like I’m just a mom, or just a student.  Another girl at the table said, “you’re not JUST anything, you are something”.  And I realized that I always said it like that when someone asked me what I did.  I’m JUST a single mom with three kids, two jobs, a very small embroidery business, and I go to school.  Good Lord, I’m exhausted.  No wonder I’m exhausted all the time.  But is that how I’m defined?  Today, I define myself as alone.  As if I could ever be alone in this crazy life I’m living, but I feel alone in the midst of all these people.  I’m a mom.  Not JUST a mom, but definitely a mom.  That’s the best job I’ve ever had and I didn’t even have to interview. 

You know what it is?  There’s all this teen angst music in my house and quite frankly, it’s depressing.  My girls have been listening to Pandora and coming up with all this depressing music.  My first concert was Shaun Cassidy.  Da do run run run, da do run run.  Now, that was upbeat music.   I was like six years old and I think my uncle must have gotten us in, because I can’t imagine that we could have afforded to go to it.  My second concert was Ratt and Bon Jovi.  It was so long ago that Bon Jovi was opening for Ratt because they only had their Runaway album.  Awwww, remember albums?  I love Bon Jovi.  I was 14 and we stayed late to smoke cigarettes with random strangers.  Dude, I would never let my kid go to something like that.  I’m sure at the time, I made a good case to my mother, and I think it was right after my grandpa died so somehow she said yes. 

Somewhere in there I also sat second row at an Air Supply concert with my mother, I may have seen John Denver, and I took my sister to see Europe.  Remember Europe?  The Final Countdown? No?  You have no idea what you’re missing.  They were so good.  Later in my teen years, I saw Motley Crue, Def Leppard (with my forgetful boyfriend, rhymes with Schmawn Schmooke), Aerosmith, and Motley Crue (yes, twice).  I also saw Robert Plant with Lita Ford opening when I was a Junior in high school and was dragged out of there yelling, “Play Highway to Heaven”.  Yeah, I meant either Stairway to Heaven or Highway to Hell, but he didn’t sing either one of those. 

As an adult I’ve been to see everyone from Randy Travis to Matchbox 20, with Lori Morgan, Aerosmith (again), Train, George Jones (He stopped loving her today….or the day he left her for his first cousin if you’re telling my tragic story), Bon Jovi (again), George Strait, Conway Twitty, Coldplay, Britney Spears (yeah, you read it right).  Okay, I have a funny story about that George Jones song.  We used to have some really good friends, Corey and Diane.  Real names, not rhymes with.  And the song is He Stopped Loving Her Today.  If you don’t know the song……….well, let me tell you the story.  So Diane said to Corey, “I have no idea what that song is about.  Why would he stop loving her today and not like yesterday?”  And Corey said, “For God’s sake, Diane, he DIED!!”  Maybe you had to be there, but it still makes me laugh.

My point, if I haven’t lost my point, is that I didn’t grow up listening to I’m-so-depressed-I’m-going-to-cut-myself music like stuff that’s playing on my kids’ Pandora.  Some of it is upbeat, but most is just really depressing.  Maybe I need to introduce these kids to a little Final Countdown, badabumbum.  And it’s just been recently.  This is not the kind of music we play on road trips.  What happened to Toby Keith?  We’ve seen him at least four times in concert.  Little Lindsey screaming, Toby Keef, Toby Keef!  And when Toby Keith came out to sing she started crying because she thought he was going to hug her.  Not likely in our nosebleed seats!!

Final Thoughts from Stormy Kim:  I’m still diggin’ it.  I’ve said before that our taste in music is very eclectic and mostly on our radio is KLOVE, the Christian station.  But when we do plug-in the iPhone, we have a huge array of music from musicals to emo apparently.  I’m really not sure how that snuck in there, but it needs to be replaced with some Bon Jovi and right quick.  Shot through the heart and who’s to blame and all that.  Seriously, that’s classic, people.  I’m going to iTunes right now to see if there’s a special on Europe and I might start growing my hair so I can bang my head like the old days.  Stormy Kim sounds like she should have long flowing hair with really tall bangs.



  1. Shawn Cooke

    Too bad Schmawn Schmooke took you to see such a lame band! He sounds like a nice guy. Judas Priest and Dokken would have been a better concert. Explore your alter ego Stormy Kim! Mine happens to be Shaemus. But I don’t think you’d want to know Shaemus…he’s quite naughty.

  2. Sister Sherri

    We went to see Europe? Are u sure that was me?

    • I realy don’t think you want to mess with the family historian.

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