Jealousy is NOT a Good Color on You

I’ll bet you thought this blog was going to be about me.  Not directly.

I’m raising girls.  For better or worse, I’ve got three girls to raise and love and provide for and give some sort of stable life so they go out and make good decisions and contribute to society in their own way.  I have high hopes for those three and lots and lots of prayers.  But girls are tough.  It’s really hard to raise them and have them all feel like I’m giving them equal amounts of love, attention, and nurturing.  Some days I feel like I fall short.  If I had another parent here (who’s NOT the monkey), it might be easier because that parent would step up where I was falling short, but all I got is me, and somedays, that’s just not enough.

Kasey is going to a new middle school.  Tourmaline can have her old one, Kasey is moving on up.  Well, at least I hope she is.  I’ve talked a lot about Kasey, but she’s shy and she has trouble making friends; and until she was about 7  she thought I didn’t know her voice because she would always talk about herself in the third person when asking for something.  “Kasey wants chicken nuggets”, said Kasey.  She thinks she gets lost in the shuffle sometimes, and she’s probably right.

So Kasey got a new haircut, very cute.  Then I highlighted it, again, very cute.  Then she started school the day before Shelby, this is where the trouble started.  Oh, Shelby… one has told her yet that the world doesn’t revolve around her and I’m afraid to break the news.  We (my mom and I) were trying to make a really big deal about Kasey starting this new school and how great it was going to be and how she was going to join the swimming team, which starts Monday; and we were really talking her up about this new school because she was nervous.  Then jealousy took over Shelby and reared its ugly head, but in subtle ways.  There was no real, “look at me!  look at me!”, but I could tell by her attitude that she was having some trouble with the Kasey, Kasey, Kasey.

Then I wondered if it’s only my problem.  Do other people have that jealousy with siblings, either their own or the ones they’re raising?  How do they deal with it?  What can I do differently? I was only trying to build up Kasey because she needed it the most the last couple of days.  Lindsey will need it next week when she starts school because it will be the first time she’s gone to a school without her siblings.  And to be honest, I feel like most of my life is building up Shelby so I don’t think she’s been getting the shaft as she would have you think.  I just don’t know. 

I did tell Shelby that jealousy wasn’t a good color on her and she said she’d try to stop wearing it.  At least she acknowledges the problem, and isn’t that the first step?

Final thoughts from Christy:  As I’m waiting for this to post (with no final thoughts), I come across THIS ARTICLE, and I think it’s all going to be okay.  I just have to convince three great girls that in the end, a sister’s not a bad thing to have.  And according to the article, it might make you a better person.  I’m glad I have one!


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