To Match or Not To Match
I wish I was talking about outfits. Remember Garanimals? There are several people in my life that would like me to go on Match.com to find a date. As if I couldn’t be more pathetic, I decided I would blog about it and let my three two faithful readers give me their opinion. Where do you meet people at my advanced age? And how do I convey to someone when I do meet him that I’m not looking for someone to come in and help me raise my kids? I’m doing pretty good with that myself. *knock wood* I wouldn’t even want someone to MEET my kids until…..well, NEVER. Maybe on our wedding day. Just kidding. And that’s another thing, I’m not looking to get married. I’ve said previously that my next husband will need to be breathing, like to dance, read, and sleep on the right side of the bed; but to be perfectly honest, I don’t think I ever will get married again. I also said in a previous blog that I’m not jaded on marriage, maybe marriage just isn’t for me. Everyone else can do what they want.
1 in 5 Relationships begin on an online dating site
What I really want is a friend with benefits. Now, before you start thinking dirty (too late for some of you), the “benefits” I’m talking about are going to the movies, going dancing, grown-up stuff, exotic vacations, conversations, dates, just someone to hang out with when the girls go to their dads, maybe another Words with Friends “friend”. You can’t have too many of those. I don’t want your money, your parenting advice, more kids, or you to move in with me. I want someone to retire with, go on cruises, distract me from my empty nesting.
Now, I know my requirements wishes are starting to sound a little hard to achieve, but I’m really easy-going. The question is, how do I put all this on Match.com so I can find someone and we can live in eHarmony for the rest of our lives? Okay, that was bad. I don’t even know where to begin. OR if I’m even ready. I have all kinds of baggage and the last guy I was with (okay, it was the monkey) did a really bad number on me to where I feel like I’m broken. I don’t just feel like it, I am broken. I wouldn’t know where to begin on the questionnaire because I don’t even know what I like to do anymore. I might need to be one of those people who used to hitchhike across country to “find” myself.
I’m going to shelve Match.com for a minute. I was going to do a whole other blog on cheating and why people cheat, etc., because I’m sure between me and my two faithful readers, we would be able to solve that age-old problem. But I was at happy hour with my new department from work and after two margaritas (this is why I don’t drink), the conversation somehow turned to people in our company that were having affairs. And I just wanted to tell YOU (not you….YOU, over there) that it doesn’t matter how discreet you think you’re being, everyone knows. And I mean EVERYONE. The names that were flying around the table were absolutely astounding, and I’m sure those people think that no one knows. Yeah, they do. And it’s not worth it. The amount of marriages that have broken up at our company just because of cheating was very sad. On a side note, when I started spilling my guts about my sorry life story, they put me at the top of the board for the Jerry Springer award. Again, I don’t drink for a reason. Thank God I work at home so I don’t have to see those people every day.
Okay, back to Match.com, what do you think? Good, bad, indifferent? Where do you think I could meet the kind of guy I desire? This is where I would normally end my blog with a prayer, but I got nothing. I think I’m afraid to pray for a good guy because I don’t think I would recognize one if he was right in front of me. Jaded, party of one? Oh, gotta go. My table’s ready.