To Match or Not To Match

I wish I was talking about outfits.  Remember Garanimals?   There are several people in my life that would like me to go on to find a date.  As if I couldn’t be more pathetic, I decided I would blog about it and let my three two faithful readers give me their opinion.   Where do you meet people at my advanced age?  And how do I convey to someone when I do meet him that I’m not looking for someone to come in and help me raise my kids?  I’m doing pretty good with that myself.  *knock wood*  I wouldn’t even want someone to MEET my kids until…..well, NEVER.  Maybe on our wedding day.  Just kidding.  And that’s another thing, I’m not looking to get married.  I’ve said previously that my next husband will need to be breathing, like to dance, read, and sleep on the right side of the bed; but to be perfectly honest, I don’t think I ever will get married again.  I also said in a previous blog that I’m not jaded on marriage, maybe marriage just isn’t for me.  Everyone else can do what they want. 

1 in 5 Relationships begin on an online dating site

What I really want is a friend with benefits.  Now, before you start thinking dirty (too late for some of you), the “benefits” I’m talking about are going to the movies, going dancing, grown-up stuff, exotic vacations, conversations, dates, just someone to hang out with when the girls go to their dads, maybe another Words with Friends “friend”.  You can’t have too many of those.  I don’t want your money, your parenting advice, more kids, or you to move in with me.  I want someone to retire with, go on cruises, distract me from my empty nesting. 

Now, I know my requirements wishes are starting to sound a little hard to achieve, but I’m really easy-going.  The question is, how do I put all this on so I can find someone and we can live in eHarmony for the rest of our lives?  Okay, that was bad.  I don’t even know where to begin.  OR if I’m even ready.  I have all kinds of baggage and the last guy I was with (okay, it was the monkey) did a really bad number on me to where I feel like I’m broken.  I don’t just feel like it, I am broken.  I wouldn’t know where to begin on the questionnaire because I don’t even know what I like to do anymore.  I might need to be one of those people who used to hitchhike across country to “find” myself. 

I’m going to shelve for a minute.  I was going to do a whole other blog on cheating and why people cheat, etc., because I’m sure between me and my two faithful readers, we would be able to solve that age-old problem.  But I was at happy hour with my new department from work and after two margaritas (this is why I don’t drink), the conversation somehow turned to people in our company that were having affairs.  And I just wanted to tell YOU (not you….YOU, over there) that it doesn’t matter how discreet you think you’re being, everyone knows.  And I mean EVERYONE.  The names that were flying around the table were absolutely astounding, and I’m sure those people think that no one knows.  Yeah, they do.  And it’s not worth it.  The amount of marriages that have broken up at our company just because of cheating was very sad.  On a side note, when I started spilling my guts about my sorry life story, they put me at the top of the board for the Jerry Springer award.   Again, I don’t drink for a reason.  Thank God I work at home so I don’t have to see those people every day.

Okay, back to, what do you think?  Good, bad, indifferent?  Where do you think I could meet the kind of guy I desire?  This is where I would normally end my blog with a prayer, but I got nothing.  I think I’m afraid to pray for a good guy because I don’t think I would recognize one if he was right in front of me.  Jaded, party of one?  Oh, gotta go.  My table’s ready.



  1. Heidi

    From what i know as a still-married person, it is NEVER good to think you can form a bond with someone you meet at a bar I hear of successful matches being made at church, but to go to church for the sole purpose of finding the “next” one seems lame to me.

    I do not like the idea, because my bff of 20+ years met her last 2 guys on that sort of site, and the 1st one lied about being “ready” to make a committment~~while keeping his profile up on all the dating sites he belonged to~~and the 2nd one lied to her for more than 6 months about being single, which you ASSUME he would have been, seeing as he was on dating sites. Turns out, he was ONLY common-law married “for the financial benefits” and could move out of her house whenever he found someone he liked better than his wife. Of course, what really tipped her off was him asking if she wanted to join him & his wife for a threesome…!! Of course, he waited til she had told him she was in love first…

    One of my co-workers is involved with a convicted child molester that she met online and thinks that she can just use him for his money…all the while having a 10 yo boy and a 7 yo girl living with the 2 of them!!

    I think that dating someone you have met online is taking a risk that your own naturally-occurring good sense would prevent. But that’s just me….

  2. 1 in 5? Where did you get those stats?

    • christyd4

      Actually I had a friend tell me that, but I saw it on so it must be right.

  3. don’t do it… really, resist, find a hobby and meet people that way to be friends with.

  4. Nancy

    Christy, You can’t be old and jaded as I’m more than 10 years your senior. Believe me, I wrote the book on jaded. I hear you about a companion but alas, I am discovering to trust myself be a party of one. Keep the faith, it all works out the way it is suppose to, just wondering if my Mr Maybe showed up in some town I use to live in instead of here? Anyway, I say celebrate as is and learn to dance by yourself – not as much fun but you will never be disappointed!


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