What was your name again?
First, this blog is going to make me sound completely pathetic and I’m fine with that because it’s all good. Second, I need you to read THIS BLOG. Don’t worry, it’s short and I’ll wait.
So, I have exactly 1.5 ex-boyfriends on Facebook. I’m not counting the monkey on MySpace with his whore. All other ex-boyfriends are either dead, can’t afford a computer, are in jail, or can’t remember my name. And it’s fine, I’ve dated some real losers. And my FB doesn’t have my maiden name, mostly because I didn’t want anyone that actually could remember my name finding me (from jail). About two years ago I happened to see my one ex on FB and found out that he was married and living in another state. Great. Good for him. No, really, good for him. I’m not a negative person, I want people to have happy endings.
I finally worked up my courage to friend him and I got a message back to remind him where we know each other from. Completely understandable. As I just said, my maiden name isn’t on there and I’m picky about who I add as a friend too. So I wrote a not so cute e-mail about dating in 1987 (yes, I’m pathetic) and how I was terrible to him, but saw he was married and wanted to catch up. Blah, blah, blah. I told him my maiden name and some things we had done together, and off it went into cyberspace, my feeble attempt at “catching up”. The next day I get another e-mail that, yeah, my face looked somewhat familiar but he basically has no memories of any time together. *crickets*
Ummmm……he gave me his class ring, he took me to Def Leppard, a haunted house, we probably went to 10 parties together and my “face looks familiar!!”. Well, then I sent him an e-mail back with ALL the details because I have a freakishly good memory, and got back……..nothing. I think my sister might be right, if I were to get all the useless information out of my head, I could probably join MENSA. I mean, who NEEDS to know that Norman Bates’ mother wore a periwinkle blue dress? It was in black and white for God’s sake!! But that information is in there forever and I can’t get it out. I can’t forget ANYTHING.
Now, I know what you’re thinking (I really don’t), what did I want him to say? Did I want him to say that I broke his heart and he thinks about me every day? Actually, yes. Not EVERY day, but a fleeting thought every now and then. A “what might have been” if you will. Like: I wonder what Christy’s doing? Good times, good times. Then I came to the stark realization that no one is pining for me. This guy was my best chance at someone even remembering me. He was the nicest guy I have ever dated. No one is out there thinking about what happened to me. Maybe my soul mate really DID die in a fire like I’ve always said.
I updated my FB status with, Thinking you made a bad impression on someone who has absolutely no memory of you is actually freeing. And it really is. I’m glad I didn’t hurt anyone. Deep down, I’m glad that he has no memory of what a jerk I was. But the whole experience has been humbling really. The only good thing about this is that now I can stop feeling bad about being a tool. Pshew, a mere 23 years later I’m off the hook. Thank God.
As for the 0.5 ex on FB? Another time for that I guess. Now I think he probably doesn’t remember me either.
So I’m going to go get a partial lobotomy to get rid of the past and keep looking forward. Maybe the nicest guy I’ve ever dated hasn’t even met me yet.