One Wedding and a Sermon
I love weddings. You would think I would be more of a cynic since my marriage ended so horribly, but I’m not. I still believe in marriage, I believe in happy endings. And when my girls say things like they think marriages don’t ever work, I tell them that some of them do. I tell them that there is a right guy out there for them, and I really do believe there is, I pray for it. I tell them to be patient and I tell them to finish their education first and then think about marriage. I tell them that I still believe in soul mates, and I do.
We went to my friend Anna’s wedding on Saturday and it was so beautiful. Brian and Anna are a perfect example of people who waited for the right person. Anna finished her education and got a Masters, and Brian’s almost through with law school. I tell the girls that they should wait and not rushing into something that’s never going to work. I’m their example of that.
I’ve been really emotional lately and I almost started crying when Brian walked his mother down the aisle. That was at the beginning so I knew I was in trouble. Then he walked Anna’s mother down the aisle. Then the processional came in, and then the bride, escorted by her dad. It was such an emotional moment. The sanctuary was so beautiful and they had a sermon on marriage and what it meant and how to be present in it. It was all so emotional and they both just looked so happy. However, it was hard not to think of how my marriage ended.
Then, today’s sermon at church was about forgiveness. Damn it. I hate hearing that sermon even though it’s the one I need to hear the most. Forgiveness? Got it. At least logically. I did walk out of the sermon feeling much lighter than when I went in, which is good. It’s really hard to hear though because you know what you need to do, but it’s just hard to let go. I need to let go more. Especially when the pastor said, if God can forgive me (well, not just me, but you too) for what I’ve done, who am I to not forgive someone else for what they’ve done to me. Do I want God holding on to what I’ve done? No, I desperately want to be forgiven.
So that was our weekend. We got to get dressed in our best and went to a wedding and the reception, which was so much fun with awesome food. My prayer for Brian and Anna is that they are the ones that make it work. No pressure, but we’re watching.