Shelby, Drink Your Juice

It’s a quote from Steel Magnolias.  No one, and I mean NO.ONE. should watch that movie nine months pregnant with no idea for a girls name.  She could have come out a Clarice or Annelle, but she didn’t.  She’s my Shelby.   There I was sitting on the bed, living with my in-laws *shudder*, tears streaming down my face……wait, that’s not the blog I was planning.

I promised myself I wasn’t going to have a complainy blog, but I sometimes let my emotions get the best of me.  This complainy blog is about the stupid monkey and his troop* that have no sense of family at all.  His parents (aka my kids’ grandparents) live 30 minutes away from us, but my parents, who live 12 hours away, see my kids more than his parents ever dreamed.  Why?  Do you think that a male’s parents are less likely to be closely involved with grandchildren than the female’s parents?  Is it because girls are generally closer to their moms that her parents are more involved, or does it just depend on the grandparents? 

Now, in all fairness to them, I have their third, fourth, and fifth granddaughters, they might just be done with his offspring.  But that makes me sad because everyone is missing out.  My girls have family out there that they could be close to if only his parents had some sort of interest in them.  The monkey has never been close to his family other than his mom and dad.  Never.  They never had family reunions, never got together for holidays, they were never close; which made it weird for me when he started dating his cousin, because it never occurred to me that he actually had a cousin.  Yeah, he does.

The only activity of the girls the monkey’s mom comes to is something that I’ve guilted her into.  When I make a big deal about how his parents live 30 minutes away and yet never see the girls, then she comes through.   But should I have to guilt her into coming to her granddaughter’s baptism (which she didn’t) or a piano recital or something? 

What’s weird is that it hasn’t always been that way.  She used to watch them every Friday when we were married and shortly after, but she just disappeared from their lives.  I find it so odd that they CAN see them anytime they want, I’ve been very clear about that, so they just choose not to.  It would be nice to have someone to count on for appointments and such, they’re their grandparents for Pete’s sake, but they’re absent, just a void in the girls’ lives.

So a great-grandpa died that Shelby met once when she was an infant.  Because he lived in another state?  No, no, because he lived downtown, which is about 30 minutes away.   And when the monkey found out his grandpa was sick, he dropped the girls off because he couldn’t deal with them and wanted to spend time with his family.   Yeah, I guess that didn’t include his kids.

Moral of the story is to enjoy the family you have, spend time with the family that lives close to you and go out and make some family…..because sometimes you really need family.

*A group of monkeys is called a troop.  Bet you didn’t know that.

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1 Comment

  1. OK this made me cry.
    When I was in H.S. one of my best friends and I watched this movie repeatedly. Her Mom ended up dieing of Cancer not long after, and then she got pregnant & named her daughter Shelby. So I can’t hear about or watch this movie without thinking about my friend and that whole hard time for her.
    And then you have to talk about grandparents not being in their grandchildrens’ life. That is the case here and it breaks my heart. daily. What is wrong with people that don’t want to be there for family?
    It is amazing though the people God has brought into our life that feel like family to us.

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