What Would Current Day Christy Say?
Two weeks until Thanksgiving and you know what I should be doing? Cleaning, and then cleaning, and more cleaning, and then even more cleaning. Then I should probably start thinking about a menu, do some shopping, and clean some more.
I was talking to a friend today about what I should have done with my life and I told her that when I was 19, I wanted to be a flight attendant. I wanted to travel, I wanted to see the world, I wanted to live out of a suitcase. I had a friend I worked with and she used to be a flight attendant and was going to go with me to the meeting and introduce me to some people and I was so excited. I told current day friend that I used to be cute, and she said she wanted to see some pictures.
So the meeting was going to be on a Saturday, and I tell my boyfriend at the time what I’m planning on doing. He says, “don’t plan on staying with me. I would never date a flight attendant, they’re gone all the time.” That’s so funny that 19 years later I still remember the quote. I told my friend the next day at work that I didn’t want to go because my boyfriend didn’t want me to. Why would I do that? You know what happened to that boyfriend? Oh, I married him, had three kids, and he left me. Why, oh why did I ever do that? Current day Christy would say “see you sucker”, but 19 year-old Christy said….oh, she never said anything, she was kind of a loser. I’ve always been so scared of doing something new. That would have been an awesome job.
I’ve always been restless. I should have moved more before I had kids. I wanted to live in New York, California, everywhere. I moved to Colorado with everything I could fit in my ’82 Mustang. Now I’m weighted down with stuff and clutter and crap. It’s almost oppressive. I sometimes dream of finishing school, getting rid of everything, and starting over somewhere new with just the clothes on our backs. But with kids it’s so much harder. I’m not saying I’d trade anything for what I have now, but…….ah, to go back and go to that meeting and travel, I do wonder what kind of life I would have had.
Why does both the fear of failure and the fear of success hold people back?