Tourmaline, Why You Got To Be So Mean?

My sister says I’m raising wussies. 

Kasey’s class got a new student.  Her name is in the gemstone family, so let’s call her Tourmaline, although Sapphire (with two p’s) might work too.  Anyway, so Tourmaline started about a month ago and she came in with this language and attitude like you’ve never seen.   Kasey goes to a charter school and her class has 20 girls, which I thought would be a good thing, I’ve found that it’s actually a lot because girls are really mean.  There was a mean girl in her class before, but when Tourmaline came in, the other girls saw what mean really could be and they started being friends with original mean girl because they realized she really wasn’t that mean after all.

I can only imagine how hard it was for Tourmaline to come into a new school and I understood why she acted like she did at first.  She had come out of a traditional middle school and she came in talking tough.  But some of the language she used was so vulgar I had to explain it to Kasey and tell her why we don’t talk that way.  However, that was at least a month ago and it should have settled down by now.  It hasn’t.  She’s just gotten worse. 

So yesterday, Tourmaline was hit in the back of the head with a deflated basketball.  She saw Kasey running (she was playing with another group) and she picked up the ball, ran after her, and when Kasey turned around, she hit her right in the face with the ball.  Kasey started crying.  She didn’t deck her, she didn’t throw it back at her, she just started crying.  Here’s where my sister said I’m raising wussies.  I’m on the record as being non-confrontational, but have I left my children completely incapable of taking care of themselves?  In Kasey’s defense, a teacher saw what happened and ran over before it could escalate further, but Kasey wouldn’t have hit her back.  And should she have?

Now I don’t know if I should sign her up for self-defense, maybe I should sign all of us up.  No one really gets picked on, maybe Lindsey a little, but would I rather my daughter be the bully?  I understand that she needs to defend herself, but do I want her hitting someone back and being violent too?  I just don’t know.  Parenting is really hard.

So I sent a strongly worded e-mail to the teacher about my concerns on how the situation was handled and the fact that I wasn’t notified and was assured that the issue was being taken care of and that I would be notified in the future if there were any problems between Kasey and Tourmaline.  It was also forwarded to the discipline director to answer my specific questions about the incident in question.    And I told Kasey to stay away from Tourmaline.  I guess I’ll also look into some self-defense classes.

who would want to be mean to her?  she's adorable

who would want to be mean to her? she's adorable



  1. Sister Sherri

    Ok. Just to clarify…I did not say you were raising wussies, I said I HOPE you were not raising wussies. I was so angry after you told me that story that I wanted to fly over there and kick some Tourmaline $#@. I know that violence in schools is not tolerated and I do not want to see the girls get kicked out. I do, however, hope that in a similar situation outside of school (or inside if their life is threatened) they will know how to defend themselves.


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