Monkey See, Monkey Do
The monkey (my ex-husband, for my new reader) told me I was out of touch with kids. He said I didn’t know what was out there and what kids had to deal with these days. Seriously, oh wise one? He left us four years ago, when did he decide he was so in touch with kids?
This all stems from a rumor going around our house that his 14 year-old step-daughter/2nd cousin (yes, it’s that trashy) was getting a tattoo in December. Nothing says, “He is born” like a fairy on your ankle. I told my girls that I was sure that wasn’t going to happen because 14 year-olds don’t get tattoos. They told me this every time they came home from his house, because every time they went over there, she told them she was getting a tattoo.
Side bar: I am not against tattoos, or piercings for that matter; but I don’t like anything at my current age that I liked at the age of fourteen. I just can’t imagine that anyone is mature enough at 14 or 15 to make any decisions about something that’s permanently going to be on their body. Just my opinion, people. Call me crazy.
Also, a little background on this particular 14YO: she was suspended the second week of school for fighting; she was in trouble almost all last year for ditching; and she’s flunking, or at least doing poorly, in all her classes. Her mother was 18 when she had her, she was her second child, and her mother was in prison for 6 years of her life, so she’s really only had her back for about four years. She doesn’t, however, have custody of her other two children. Oh yes, it just keeps getting trashier.
So he called me one day, because that’s what he does, and I finally remembered to tell him that he needed to tell his kids that she wasn’t getting a tattoo, and that she was just kidding because they really believed her. I told him that if it was true then it would be the worst case of bad parenting I had ever seen, and I’ve seen some of their bad parenting. Long pause….”well, Chris, it was either that or a tongue piercing.”
I said, “How about just saying no?” I mean, really, when did it become a decision of either a piercing or a tattoo? How about: your grades suck, you ditch school, and you’re always in trouble for fighting, I’m going to go with “NO”? Not, “Okay, piercing or tattoo!”. But even with a tongue piercing she could take it out when she realizes how stupid it was and her teeth are all chipped. Here’s where he told me that I don’t know what’s out there. I don’t know what kids today are like. Golly, I’m so glad I don’t have any to raise since I’m so out of touch. I’m glad he’s the expert and he only sees them twice a week.
Of course, you moron, I do know what’s out there. Shelby has, on more than one occasion, told me how bad she could be and how happy I should be that she’s not like other kids at school. She has said that I’m lucky she’s as good as she is. Modest much? Actually, she’s lucky that she’s as good as she is, but I do know that I am too. This is just more garbage he subjects us to that I counteract. I’m so glad everything is a life lesson for what we don’t do, and my kids now know that there’s no way in…the world that they’re getting a tattoo or any other piercing besides their ears. I just didn’t know before that I needed to address this with my nine year-old. Again, call me crazy.