Overbearing Vs. Helpful

Where is the line between helpful and overbearing?  I have no idea.  I’m controlling.  I’ll admit it.  My name is Christy and I’m controlling.  Hello, Christy, keep coming back and have some coffee and donuts.  Mmmmm, donuts.  I was at back to school night and there was a sign-up for auditions for Beauty and the Beast.  Shelby’s been dancing for 8 years.  I thought, that would be perfect for her and made the mistake of sharing my thought.  Of course, as you can imagine, it turned out that she thinks people will think she’s a dork and she’s only a freshman, why would she try out, yadda yadda yadda.   It went on and on.

The next day we took one of her friends home and she said her brother had signed her up for the auditions and she was so embarrassed, but that she was going to do it.  Here’s the exchange that followed:

Me:  That’s so great. I wanted Shelby to do it but she doesn’t want to.

Friend:  Oh, you should totally do it.

Shelby:  Okay. 

Me:  Huh? 

I was an idiot for mentioning it the night before, but get a friend to bring it up and she’s all over it.  It turns out that it’s not that she didn’t want to do it, she just didn’t want to do it alone.  And for some reason, it’s never a good idea when I bring it up.  Whatever.  I don’t care how she gets to it, I’m just glad she’s doing it.  Even if she doesn’t get a part, all I’ve heard since enrolling her in that school is how important it is to get involved.  And it is important to get involved.  There are a ton of things she can do there to get involved, but if she hears (or I say) “it’s going to look good on your college application” again, she’s probably going to scream.

I see those moms that live vicariously through their daughters and I’m really not one of them.  I think everyone knows a stage mom that gets way too involved.  I just want to give them the best possible foundation for a better life and opportunities that I didn’t have.  I want them to dream big and have so much more in life.  I want them to make better choices and have less regrets.  Is that wrong?



  1. carikelley

    No, it’s not, but what I’ve learned (but struggle to remember when it matters) is that the more I talk, the less they listen.

    My new motto: Talk less, pray more.


  1. Be My Guest « Dealing with Life

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