Disregard if You Don’t Want a Downer

What do you think causes depression?  Is it a chemical imbalance that you’re born with or is it something that everyone deals with, some better than others?  Should everyone that feels depressed be medicated? 

I’ve found over the years that I’m anti-medication.  I barely remember my vitamins every day.  I don’t like the idea of having to take something every single day.  One, because I don’t remember; but two, what’s the underlying reason that you’re having to take something every day.  Can that be addressed?

I just did something really amazing.  I ran/walked/crawled a triathlon.  I’ve been talking about it forever, so I’m sure you’ve heard about it.  I overshare, overtalk, get overexcited about everything, it’s depressing.  Back to the point, I did this on Sunday and feel really great about the fact that I finished it and didn’t die.  And then the pictures came out.  The “professional” pictures that are online for all to see the gigantic girl that finished the triathlon while being dragged by her skinny friend over the finish line.  Then I thought, if I looked that bad now, can you imagine how I looked 40 pounds ago?   I’m sure you remember.  *shudder*

I have my own version of body dysmorphic disorder where I can’t tell how big I really am.  In my mind I’m just a little overweight, pleasantly plump if you will, not morbidly obese, on death’s door as those pictures would indicate.  Ugh!  My mom said the camera adds 20 pounds, but not to each thigh.  My only saving grace is that they didn’t get an action shot of me coming out of the water in my swimsuit.  I’d have to be talking to the suicide hotline about that one.  As it is, I’m blowing one of them up where I’m panting and putting it on my refrigerator.  That should certainly do the trick!

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