Don’t Be Judgey McJudgerson
My daughter, Kasey, has a best friend, Jonathon. They are both 11 and have been best friends since they were 2. Kasey tends to have more boys for friends than girls, which is hard since she’s in an all girl class now. She doesn’t like the drama of girls, but she’s finally starting to have a couple of friends in her class.
A little background: I truly believe that friends are brought into your life for a reason, a season, or for life. Jonathon’s sister, Emily, is the same age as Shelby and when I had to go back to work full time after Lindsey was born, an odd set of circumstances (or God) brought me to their mother, Danielle, who was looking to watch kids and socialize her son, who had never been to daycare. She was a stay-at-home mom and lived four streets over. Emily became Shelby’s best friend and Kasey and Jonathon were inseparable from age two on.
Danielle and I also became best friends and did everything together. We started working out together, grocery shopping, movies, tennis, holidays, everything. Then she moved. She was still watching my kids so we stayed close, but didn’t do as much together. Then she moved again, and we got together less and less. Then middle school hit and Shelby and Emily went different directions, got different friends. I’ll blog more on that in one that I’ll title “Mean Girls”. The situation then begged the question: what happens to friends when your kids aren’t good friends anymore? She had life changes, and I had life changes and then Emily changed schools.
There used to be sleepovers where we would switch kids, and on more than one ocassion she’s taken all three of mine, and vice versa. The point of this blog is that Kasey and Jonathon still have sleepovers. I mentioned it to a new friend and she was surprised. Like, “WHAT?!?!” surprised. You’d have to see Kasey and Jonathon together to understand why I still let them have sleepovers. They regress probably 5 years, and they giggle (you should hear him giggle). And they talk for hours and play on the swingset, which mainly goes unused. They can be themselves because they know each other so well. They don’t have to act cool, or act any way, they just hang out.
Kasey asked me one day about puberty and why some boys’ voices change. I told her that right now Jonathon giggles like “heeheeheehee”, but one day he’ll start to laugh like “huhuhuh”, and then the sleepovers will have to stop. I listened to them Friday night out on the swing set. He was telling her about his friends at school, and I just prayed that they would stay like that. That they would keep that innocence about them, although I know it won’t last forever.
And if you don’t think I’m doing my job, I did tell her that if there was any “weird boy/girl stuff” then they would have to stop the sleepovers, but she doesn’t even think like that, he’s just her best friend. I guess I understood my friend’s surprise before I explained it. There’s obviously separate beds, and it’s not like I’d let Kasey bring home a new boy she just met in school. I do have some parenting skillz.