Heart in San Francisco, Dignity in Canada
So imagine this: I’m wearing my $11 adorable cruise shoes that I got on clearance from Kohl’s. I’m on Government Street in Victoria, B.C. on a rocky sidewalk. I don’t want to be there. I didn’t want to walk three miles to The Empress hotel in said adorable shoes. The hotel is almost completely covered with ivy, which freaks me out btw. I’m afraid the ivy is going to break in and strangle me in my sleep. I have a thing about it.
After the three miles and going to the bathroom at The Empress, I turn around to walk back to the ship. I’m tired, I’m irritated, it’s the last day of the cruise, and my feet are killing me. I’ve already twisted my ankle on the walk there. I don’t want to be there, and then I fall. Not gracefully by any stretch of the imagination. My sunglasses go flying and I see a flash of panic on a Chinese woman’s face. Maybe she thinks I’m going to crush her. My stepmom is so far ahead of me she doesn’t realize I’ve fallen.
For one brief moment I think of just staying down and getting an ambulance to take me back to the ship. I don’t. I get my butt up and keep moving, hoping that the 2 million people standing in front of The Empress hotel don’t notice that a rhinoceros has just fallen. I almost start crying, but I keep walking until I’m a safe distance away, and then I cry. My leg now hurts, my feet feel worse, I hate Canada and their inability to put in a smooth sidewalk, but most importantly I’m embarrassed.
Yes, I realize that everyone falls, people fall all the time, it’s still embarrassing. My stepmom waits for me one time before we get back to the ship and I asked her if she wanted to hear how I left a little piece of my dignity in front of The Empress hotel, she did. She might have felt bad for running off without me, but I couldn’t tell. She had her tennis shoes on, but mine were already packed and I had said that I didn’t want to get off the ship and go anywhere in Canada.
I was perfectly content to go to the movie, which was Confessions of a Shopaholic. I could see Canada from the veranda, and we didn’t dock close to anything so I was happy to stay where I was. She, however, wanted me to see The Empress hotel because she thought I would think it was neat. I thought it was a long walk, covered in creepy ivy, and I was ready to get into my comfy clothes. I was actually ready to just go home and see my kids.