Update on My Personal Hell

I have great people in my life.  I also have a monkey that’s hellbent on torturing me every chance he gets.  He told me two days ago that he would have left her any time I said the word including if I said the word that day.  What kind of masochistic scumbag says stuff like that all the while living with the girl that he left me for, and now living one street away?  I have never met anyone so pathological. 

My sister was in Canada and I wasn’t able to talk to her about it until yesterday.  She, of course, couldn’t believe the extent of his masochism; but she was on a road trip with some friends and sent me these comments from the car:

Don’t let Satan use the monkey to control you – Deandra

You are a beautiful child of God – Sherri

Drop those cookies (I wasn’t eating any, thanks)– Sherri

Don’t allow the monkey to keep you churned up – Kyla

He is a sad pathetic individual who will never be at your level of spiritual growth – Kyla

We love you – Tracie

They all made me cry and feel better at the same time.

I can’t hate him anymore.   I feel sad for him, and more importantly, for her.  Sure, she’s younger, thinner, according to her myspace she’s a “swinger”; but she’s also a convicted felon and his first cousin.  Yes, I said it.  Now you know – his mother and her father = siblings.  I’ve had to get over my inadequate feelings of how he could leave someone so great as me (ha!) for someone like that, but I know that’s all on him.  He’s the loser in this scenario, not me; but it’s taken me a long time to realize that.

So, yes, I’ll see them on my walk with Heather every day; and yes, I’m sure I’ll see them in the neighborhood.  But the one thing this has helped me with is to get myself motivated to finish school and get the heck out of here.  Seattle, Dallas, North Carolina, San Diego, wherever, here I come.  What makes me sad, though, is how much I love my house and my neighborhood.  I miss it already, but it will never feel the same.


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