H belated B to Lindsey
Nine years and 5 days ago my baby was born. I wasn’t here for her birthday this year and it broke my heart. The only thing that helped is that she wasn’t here either. She went on a camping trip with the church that morning, but it still seemed weird that I couldn’t hear her voice for the first time on her birthday.
So 9 years and 5 days ago, I was a million months pregnant, I had a four-year-old and a two-year-old; and I was 11 days late. My due date was on May 5th and my mother had missed the other two births so was determined not to miss the last one. She and Carlos arrived on the 5th and then sat around and watched me for 11 days. 11.DAYS. It was the longest 11 days of my entire life. Not only did they sit and watch me, they made me go to the park every day and be the running end of the kite. I’m sure it wasn’t pretty.
I went to the doctor on Friday and when he told me it would be a few more days, I burst into tears. To get me to stop crying, he told me that he would induce on Tuesday. I was pregnant on Mother’s Day that year and there was a marathon of The Baby Story on TLC that Carlos made me watch. I think he thought that I didn’t know how to actually have a baby.
Monday night I went into labor. The monkey woke up my mom and she drove us to the hospital. It was not my best birth. It wasn’t smooth like the others because of a couple of medical things that I’d had in the time since I had Kasey. It was also more pain than I had ever felt. They gave me morphine, but it only made it harder to concentrate. Then about five hours in, I was finally able to get the port for the epidural but before they could get the actual pain medication in, there she came. The anesthesiologist came in as the baby was crying and said, “I guess you don’t need the epidural anymore.” He’s lucky I didn’t get a good look at him.
The doctor was cutting the umbilical cord and said, “that’s interesting”, which is exactly what you want to hear when you can’t get a good look at anything. I immediately panicked and asked what was wrong. He showed me that there was a knot in the cord between her and me. I’ve always said that I think she was trying to get away from me from the beginning. The nurse said, “he’s so beautiful”, and I said, “HUH? What did I have?”. She said, “Oh, sorry. It’s a girl”. I didn’t know before I had her, but I only had girls so couldn’t imagine that it would be a boy.
You always hear that you’re so protective of the first one, but that the third one can juggle knives. It’s so true. She’s my only left handed one, and has such a unique way of looking at things. She told me tonight at the grocery store that she feels like she’s growing up too fast and that she wants to stop. I told her I thought that was a good idea and she should be my baby forever. Sometimes I feel excited that I’m halfway done, but most of the time I’m sad that I’m halfway done. Although I know that I’ll never actually be “done”.